What to Do About Bad Pastors
They exist and they are still leading churches. What can be done?
This post is part of a series I’m doing in October on pastoral ministry. If you’re new here, my husband is currently the lead pastor of a church outside Savannah, Georgia. We’ve been in full-time ministry since 2009, and he’s been an ordained pastor for almost 10 years. I am writing out of our experience in hopes that it will encourage those in ministry as well as those who love people in ministry.
On paper, the idea of pastors’ appreciation month sounds good. But for many people, even the word “pastor” evokes painful feelings.
I remember the first Sunday we visited a church where Christian would later come on staff as a pastor. The sermon that morning was on the qualifications of elders and what biblical elders should be like. All I could think of was the church plant we had been part of that had just imploded because the pastor—who had been a dear friend and older brother in the faith for years—had been caught having an affair and was not repentant. He had been an elder, he had been a pastor, and while almost no one would have called him a bad pastor until he was caught in his sin, he was a bad pastor. For more than six months, while he was having the affair, he acted like a good pastor. He even preached a series called “Covenant Marriage,” during which he was being unfaithful to his wife.
A good pastor doesn’t live a double life. A good pastor isn’t a hypocrite. We are all sinners—yes, even pastors—but the Bible calls Christians, pastors or not, to lives of repentance. This pastor was not repentant, and so ultimately he was not just a bad pastor; he wasn’t a pastor at all. His sin disqualified him from the role.
But there are other pastors, who are still called pastors, because they are still in the role of pastor. But they are not good pastors.
What is a Good Pastor?
Here’s a list of characteristics of pastors / elders from Scripture. This is not exhaustive; I left off some of the requirements that would take time to unpack (such as managing one’s household well):
Above reproach
The husband of one wife (literally “a one-woman man”)
Sober-minded
Self-controlled
Respectable
Hospitable
Not violent but gentle
Not quarrelsome
Not a lover of money
Not arrogant
Not quick-tempered
Not greedy for gain
A lover of good
Upright
Holy
Not domineering
One issue I see with social media and the culture of celebrity that even the church has fallen prey to is that we can see a lot of things about a pastor—such as whether he preaches from God’s Word, whether he is a gifted speaker, whether he is persuasive or eloquent, how big his church is and how many people follow him on social media.
But you can’t really tell if the things on the list above are true of him. The only way you can know these things are if you have a relationship with a pastor, or if you know people who do. While pastoral ministry attracts some of the humblest, kindest, and gentlest men, it also attracts men who are very good at pretending to be those things and who are actually wolves in sheep’s clothing.
A pastor can have whole books of the Bible memorized, and he can sit with church members through difficult counseling conversations and give them guidance from Scripture, and he can weep as he officiates the funeral of a child, and he can write heartfelt emails in which it sounds like he really cares about you. And he can be prideful, and arrogant, and domineering. He can be a bully.
Bully pastors can be loud, bombastic, and provocative. If you listened to the podcast The Rise and Fall of Mars Hill, then you’re familiar with Mark Driscoll. When you find out that a pastor like Driscoll treated his staff and elders badly, it’s not as surprising. What is more shocking is when you run into a pastor who has a more reserved personality, who seems gentle and kind. If you try to tell other people that a pastor like that has been a bully, it is very likely that they won’t believe you. These kinds of bad pastors are more dangerous, because they are often very smart. They don’t bully everyone—they only bully the people they think they can get away with bullying. In my experience, they last much longer than those with Driscoll-like personalities because they are better at maintaining the image of being a good pastor.
I have heard people say time and time again that if a pastor really was a bad pastor, people would know. Anyone who has been in an abusive relationship would laugh at this. How many times have you found out that someone—famous or not—had a secret life that was at odds with the image they portrayed? It happens in pastoral ministry, too.
What makes it more egregious in pastoral ministry is that many bad pastors use spiritual language to cause even more harm. They frame themselves as righteous. Disagreement is called disunity, even sin. Their knowledge of Scripture gives them an advantage over anyone who doesn’t know Scripture as well as they do.
A common argument when criticism is leveled at a pastor or well-known Christian is, “Well, look at all the fruit!” A passage of Scripture I’ve often heard quoted is from Philippians 1:
Some indeed preach Christ from envy and rivalry, but others from good will. 16 The latter do it out of love, knowing that I am put here for the defense of the gospel. 17 The former proclaim Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely but thinking to afflict me in my imprisonment. 18 What then? Only that in every way, whether in pretense or in truth, Christ is proclaimed, and in that I rejoice.
The argument these people give is—”See, Paul was looking at the fact that Christ was proclaimed, even if it was for the wrong reasons.” However, their interpretation goes too far and doesn’t take into account all the other things Paul says in his other letters. Paul looked at the situation and found a reason to praise God that Christ was being proclaimed, but he does not look at the people doing it and condone their “selfish ambition” or desire to afflict Paul. Paul wrote in Galatians about what real fruit looks like—the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. When you see this kind of fruit in the life of a pastor, you know that he is a good pastor. When you see the opposite of these fruits—you have found a bad one.
What about Unjust Accusations?
Another common pushback when talking about “bad pastors” is that pastors are often unjustly accused of wrongdoing. Not surprisingly, God has addressed this in Scripture. First Timothy 5:19 says, “Do not admit a charge against an elder except on the evidence of two or three witnesses.”
One time someone made a very serious accusation against a pastor we knew. This person was not a member of that church but had a connection to someone at the church. The pastor shared this accusation with the other elders at his other church, but because there was no evidence and no one else had expressed any concerns, this accusation was dismissed.
Pastors can be in vulnerable positions and I know from our own experience as well as others’ that sometimes the sheep bite the shepherds. But God’s Word has given us safeguards to protect the shepherds—such as 1 Timothy 5:19—as well as principles to protect the sheep from bad shepherds.
Holding Bad Pastors Accountable
Church leadership can be structured in many different ways, but in many of the circles we’ve been in the last many years, the church leadership is made up of elders. The pastor, who is a paid staff member, is an elder, but there may also be other staff elders as well as “lay” elders, who are not on staff but who still do the work of an elder. Having a mix of staff and lay elders is a powerful form of accountability, as there is no conflict of interest financially for the lay elders.
Another form of accountability is through the congregation. Our current church is “elder-led, congregation-accountable.” That means the congregation chooses the elders and submits themselves to their decisions, but the congregation also has the power (according to the church constitution and by-laws) to remove an elder or pastor for certain reasons.
I shared 1 Timothy 5:19 earlier, which helps to protect elders—but God doesn’t leave it there.
Do not admit a charge against an elder except on the evidence of two or three witnesses. As for those who persist in sin, rebuke them in the presence of all, so that the rest may stand in fear. — 1 Timothy 5:19-20
God says unjust, singular charges should not be admitted. But if there is more than one witness and if the allegations show that an elder is persisting in sin without repentance, 1 Timothy 5:20 calls for him to be held accountable.
In his book Bully Pulpit, Dr. Michael Kruger also addresses taking seriously charges that come from more than one person:
…there is one factor that can help clear up questions about whether an accuser has made a mountain out of a molehill: Has more than one accuser come forward? If multiple people have stepped forward with similar stories and claims, then their credibility goes up considerably. It is hard to imagine that all these people share the same proclivity to exaggerate and see something that isn’t there. Is that possible? Sure, it’s possible. But is it likely? In most cases, no.
You’ve likely seen this happen in situations where someone in a position of authority (religious or not) has been accused of sexual abuse. There might initially be only one person making a claim, and they are often dismissed. But if they are able to find others who were also victimized and they bring forth their claims together, they are much more difficult to ignore.
Another thing to consider when allegations are made against pastors is that most people have very little to gain from opening up about harm they have experienced. While our culture and even the church have made some progress, it can be terrifying to say, “I was a victim of harm by this person, who everyone around me respects.” The stigma attached to the person making allegations is painful. While the microscope should be focused on the pastor who has been accused, that’s usually not what happens.
What to Do About Bad Pastors
I have been a church member under bad pastors, and I have been a church member under good pastors. We live in a broken world and there’s no way to completely protect ourselves or our churches from bad pastors. I don’t think all bad pastors start out bad. But “bad pastor” is an inherent oxymoron, because a true “pastor” should look a whole lot like Jesus and be marked by the kindness, humility, and gentleness of Christ.
And yet the bad pastors persist, and sometimes they seem like good pastors and fool everyone around them.
The greatest harm and pain I have ever experienced has been at the hands of bad pastors. I think I will die still being sad about how such great harm was done to me and to people I love under a false umbrella of Jesus’ authority.
Thankfully, I have had counseling and support and grace from the Lord that has not led me to equate Jesus with these bad pastors. In fact, it is often by meditating on the person of Christ that I’ve been able to see clearly whether a pastor’s behavior was appropriate or not.
I don’t really know what to do about bad pastors, other than to keep talking about the fact that they are real, and they are still leading churches, and they are still fooling people. If you are in a church and suspect you might have a bad pastor, you might be right, and I’d encourage you to learn how your church outlines procedures in holding your pastor accountable. If this fails, look more widely to your denomination or networks your church is part of. You deserve justice if you have experienced harm, and others in your church who are not aware of the bad pastor also need protection.
God did not design his church to be led by bad pastors. He wants his church to be led by good shepherds. God sees you, and he knows all the details. And he has very harsh words for men who claim to be shepherds but do not take care of his sheep:
The word of the Lord came to me: “Son of man, prophesy against the shepherds of Israel; prophesy, and say to them, even to the shepherds, Thus says the Lord God: Ah, shepherds of Israel who have been feeding yourselves! Should not shepherds feed the sheep? You eat the fat, you clothe yourselves with the wool, you slaughter the fat ones, but you do not feed the sheep.
The weak you have not strengthened, the sick you have not healed, the injured you have not bound up, the strayed you have not brought back, the lost you have not sought, and with force and harshness you have ruled them.
So they were scattered, because there was no shepherd, and they became food for all the wild beasts. My sheep were scattered; they wandered over all the mountains and on every high hill. My sheep were scattered over all the face of the earth, with none to search or seek for them.
Therefore, you shepherds, hear the word of the Lord: As I live, declares the Lord God, surely because my sheep have become a prey, and my sheep have become food for all the wild beasts, since there was no shepherd, and because my shepherds have not searched for my sheep, but the shepherds have fed themselves, and have not fed my sheep, therefore, you shepherds, hear the word of the Lord:
Thus says the Lord God, Behold, I am against the shepherds, and I will require my sheep at their hand and put a stop to their feeding the sheep. No longer shall the shepherds feed themselves. I will rescue my sheep from their mouths, that they may not be food for them.”—Ezekiel 34:1-10
This past month at our church, there has been an opportunity for congregants to share stories of pastors who have blessed them. A woman who has been visiting for a few weeks shared about her own father, who she described as a godly and compassionate pastor, and then she said this: “I’m 86 years old, and I’ve known a lot of pastors. Some of them shouldn’t have been pastors.”
I write to you today as a sheep who has been rescued by Jesus from the mouth of more than one bad shepherd who should not have been pastors. How glad I am that Jesus is the very best shepherd, who treats us with tenderness and compassion.
I recognize this post may stir up some things. I’m always available by e-mail: chelseykcrouch@gmail.com.