The Night in the Psych Ward

How I discovered what was at the bottom of the deepest pit.

What you don’t understand until you experience it yourself is that the process of entering the psychiatric ward makes you feel like you have done something wrong. The attendant asked me to hand over any personal items, which turned out to be only my wedding and engagement rings and my phone. I took off my shoes. She patted me down to make sure I didn’t have anything dangerous hidden on me.

I just want to go to sleep.

This was a temporary psych ward attached to the emergency room at the hospital, so accommodations were meager. I was taken to a room with only a bed. There was no other furniture. There was no clock.

Just me and the bed, the sight of which almost sent me into a panic.

I just want to go to sleep.

Sleeping, and the thought of sleeping, was what had gotten me here in the first place. Or, rather, the fact that I wasn’t sleeping.

I just want to go to sleep.

Earlier that night, my husband and I had gone to bed, but I hadn’t been able to fall asleep, and after a few hours, I descended…