My Story
Below are posts, in chronological order, where I have written about my life. Eventually, I hope to have it all told.
1997
How I stopped the apocalypse when I was only 12 years old
“Correct!” the local Christian radio show host said. “You’re the winner!”
2004
The curious incident of the vase in the ballroom
“When I come back, I have some questions about your post today,” said Matt as he walked out of the room to help one of his kids. It took me a minute to register what he was talking about, because my Substack exists in a compartmentalized part of my brain that doesn’t always interact with the real world. I also didn’t know that Matt, our friend/community…
2006
This is either a love story or a cautionary tale
I have wanted to write about the story of Christian and me for a long time. Years ago I began to write it all down, but at the time we’d only been married a few years. It’s coming up on 16 years now, and while I’m sure there are many more exhilarating tales that others have told, as I have begun to reconstruct the timeline of our relationship, I have be…
2009
the toxic impulse of nostalgia
“…I consider nostalgia to be a toxic impulse. It is the… yearning delusion that the past was better [than the present]…” - John Hodgman, in Vacationland
2010
When I Knew I Was Needy
I still remember the weight of him, pudgy legs sticking out of red cotton overalls, little hands relaxed as he slept in my lap. It was past nap time, and I had been trying so hard to get 9-month-old Stephen on a schedule. I knew he wouldn’t nap as long in my lap as he would at home, and this would probably mess up the schedule for the rest of the day.
2015
the night in the psych ward
What you don’t understand until you experience it yourself is that the process of entering the psychiatric ward makes you feel like you have done something wrong. The attendant asked me to hand over any personal items, which turned out to be only my wedding and engagement rings and my phone. I took off my shoes. She patted me down to make sure I didn’t …
2019
you belong among the wildflowers
The sky was bright blue, cloudless, and we passed few cars on the road. We drove through the Scandinavian cities of western South Carolina—Denmark, Sweden, Norway. This wasn’t the fastest way to get from Columbia to southeastern Georgia, at least not as the crow flew. But on a Friday afternoon, I-95 turns into a parking lot, and Apple Maps suggested goi…
2020
Ten Days in March 2020
This post is a photo essay of sorts. You can read about the things leading up to and including March 11, 2020, in the post You Belong Among the Wildflowers. I’m documenting these events from many years ago in an attempt to chronicle some of the formative seasons of my life.
on losing a year of my life, but not life itself
I looked at my husband’s furrowed brow as he stared at his phone. Our newborn son was in my arms. I had just been wheeled into the hospital room where I’d spend the next two nights after the birth of our fourth child.