Chelsey Recommends | Spiritual Abuse Resources

“Church on a Hill,” Allart van Everdingen, c. 1645/1656

There is nothing I love more than coming up with a long list of resources or items that someone might find helpful in a particular situation. Because I have written recently about some of our difficult experiences in ministry, I thought I’d begin my collection of resource lists by sharing resources related to spiritual abuse.

This is not a fun subject, but over the last decade, the things on this list have been part of what the Lord has used to sustain me through traumatic church experiences. I am grateful for the wise men and women who have poured time into writing books and recording podcasts and making videos about spiritual abuse to help sufferers. If you are someone who has experienced or who thinks they might be experiencing spiritual abuse now, I hope that having all these resources in one place is helpful.

If you’re getting this in your e-mail, this obviously isn’t a normal post! I plan to link to this from the main page of my blog and continue to update it as I find more resources.

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Books

I have read many books that talk about spiritual abuse, as well as other books that relate to abuse and how to recover from traumatic experiences.

Books on Spiritual Abuse that I’ve Read and Recommend

I have read every single one of these books, and depending on your situation, I think they could all be helpful. If you’ve never experienced spiritual abuse but are part of a local church or are involved in any way in Christian ministry, these books should all be required reading.

• Broken Trust: …a practical guide to identify and recover from toxic faith, toxic church, and spiritual abuse by F. Remy Diederich

• Bully Pulpit: Confronting the Problem of Spiritual Abuse in the Church by Michael Kruger

• Moving On: Surviving the Grief of Forced Termination by Deanna Harrison

• Redeeming Power: Understanding Authority and Abuse in the Church by Diane Langberg

• Something’s Not Right: Decoding the Hidden Tactics of Abuse--and Freeing Yourself from Its Power by Wade Mullen

• Understanding Spiritual Abuse: What It Is and How to Respond by Karen Roudkovski

• When Narcissism Comes to Church: Healing Your Community From Emotional and Spiritual Abuse by Chuck DeGroat

• When the Church Harms God’s People: Becoming Faith Communities That Resist Abuse, Pursue Truth, and Care for the Wounded by Diane Langberg

Books on Spiritual Abuse that People I Trust Recommend

I haven’t read any of these yet, but I either trust the author from other books of theirs that I read, or friends of mine who have experienced spiritual abuse have found them helpful.

• A Church Called Tov: Forming a Goodness Culture That Resists Abuses of Power and Promotes Healing by Scot McKnight and Laura McKnight Ballinger

• Escaping the Maze of Spiritual Abuse: Creating Healthy Christian Cultures by Lisa Oakley and Jason Humphreys

• The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse: Recognizing and Escaping Spiritual Manipulation and False Spiritual Authority Within the Church by David Johnson and Jeff VanVonderen

Other Related Books I Recommend
While not all of these are specifically about spiritual abuse, these books could be helpful in processing past spiritual abuse or in recognizing spiritual abuse in the context of marriage relationships.

• Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy: Discovering the Grace of Lament by Mark Vroegop

• Is It Abuse? A Biblical Guide to Identifying Domestic Abuse and Helping Victims by Darby Strickland

• Unpacking Forgiveness: Biblical Answers for Complex Questions and Deep Wounds by Chris Brauns

• When Home Hurts: A Guide to Responding Wisely to Domestic Abuse in Your Church by Jeremy Pierre and Greg Wilson

• When It’s Trauma: A Biblical Guide to Understanding Trauma and Walking Faithfully with Sufferers by Darby Strickland

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Podcasts / Episodes

I can’t vouch for every single thing said on every episode of these podcasts, but all of them are related to spiritual abuse and could be helpful depending on what you’ve experienced.

• Sons of Patriarchy

  • “Understanding Spiritual Abuse” | S1E17 w/Karen Roudkovski

• The Bodies Behind the Bus

• The Rise and Fall of Mars Hill

• The Roys Report

  • “Deception and Abuse in God’s House”

  • “How to Identify and Stop Predators in the Church”

  • “How to Judge ‘Independent Investigations’”

  • “The Emotionally Destructive Church”

  • “Unmasking Domination in the Church”

  • “When the Church Harms God’s People”

  • “Why Air the Church’s Dirty Laundry?”

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Videos

These are specific videos I’ve found helpful, but I also recommend these channels if you’re looking for more information.

• “Narcissism and the Systems it Breeds” | Dr. Diane Langberg

• How Church Systems Enable Spiritual Abuse | Church Disrupted

• “How Religious Narcissists Will Gaslight You” | Dr. Les Carter of Surviving Narcissism

• “How to Confront Spiritual Abuse” | The Gospel Coalition with Dr. Michael Kruger

• “How to Confront Toxic Leaders: Identifying the Toxic Leader” | F. Remy Diederich

• “How to Recognize Spiritual Abuse in the Church” | ChurchLeaders.com with Wade Mullen

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Substacks

All of these writers have written extensively about spiritual abuse in general or about their own experiences, all of which has been encouraging and helpful to me.

• Many Courts, One Judge | Emily Hyland

• The Whistleblower’s Guide | Rebecca Hopkins

• Pellucid | Wade Mullen

• Scot’s Newsletter | Scot McKnight

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If you know of any resources that I’ve missed or that you’ve found helpful, please let me know!