20 Christian Books that Formed Me

A book-by-book journey that maps onto the highs and lows of my life over the past decade

I have been thinking about this post as soon as I started this Substack in January 2025. I went ahead and made a post about the best Christian books I read in 2024, but I also wanted to go back and look through all the books I’ve read since the first year I started keeping track and pull out the books that have had the greatest impact on my spiritual growth. Making this list was hard—on my first pass through, I had more than 40 books that I marked. I kept cutting books, not because they weren’t good, but because they got beat out by the books on this list.

My criteria for these books is both objective and subjective. On a theological level, these books are solid and I would recommend them to any Christian. They are well-written and the authors are men and women who continue to be faithful followers of Jesus or who have already passed away and left a lasting legacy with their writing.

But on a subjective level, these books changed me. In almost every case, I can remember exactly what I was experiencing when I read the book, or I can picture which house we lived in when I read it, or I can pinpoint that book as a time when what I read began to change the way I was thinking and acting. I have reread most of these books, and I have recommended them to countless people depending on what they were going through.

Creating this list felt like compiling a list of old friends who have been with me through some of the darkest seasons of my life. And if you think I’m getting a little too sentimental about books… then I am just sad that you don’t have any books for friends.

20 Christian Books that Formed Me

Respectable Sins by Jerry Bridges

I grew up in the church and spent most of my life around Christians or in the context of the local church. I was very aware of “the bad sins” because it seemed like that was all I heard about. Entering college, I would have told you that I was doing a pretty good job in the same way that the rich young ruler thought he had followed the Ten Commandments. Then I read this book. Jerry Bridges starts the book off with a massive mic drop when he says that the base sin underlying all other sin is ungodliness, which he defines this way: “Ungodliness may be defined as living one’s everyday life with little or no thought of God, or of God’s will, or of God’s glory, of one’s dependence on God.” I still remember reading that in a huge blue armchair in the first place we lived when we got married. It felt like a knife through my heart as I considered how much of my life was spent not thinking about God at all, and it was a new idea to consider that in and of itself might be sin, a barrier to closer communion with the Lord.

Relationships: A Mess Worth Making by Tim Lane and Paul Tripp

The memory attached to this book is of sitting at a Panera Bread with my heart in my stomach while I waited for a former member of our church to meet me there. The family had left our church for another church, and while there wasn’t any blatant conflict, I was hurt and angry that she had ghosted me. I’d been living with that for several months before I read this book, and then I realized that as a Christian, the onus was on me to tell this person how she had hurt me and to seek to reconcile our relationship. I have been conflict-avoidant my entire life, and I knew that if I just never spoke to her again, I’d probably never see her. But this book pricked my conscience so badly I felt I had no choice but to meet with her. I don’t know of any other book I’ve read that compelled me into action so strongly as this book.

Spiritual Depression: Its Causes and Its Cure by Martyn Lloyd-Jones

I read this book for the first time when I was experiencing—you guessed it—depression! While the title might make you think that it’s not talking about actual depression, the book is nuanced about the different causes of depression. The author was both a pastor and a physician, and he treats the whole person. If you’ve ever experienced depression yourself, you know that even if it is being caused be something circumstantial, the feeling of depression is a spiritual experience. It affects your whole self and your whole mind. This was the first book I read on depression, and it helped me understand what I was experiencing during an extremely difficult season.

Unpacking Forgiveness: Biblical Answers for Complex Questions and Deep Wounds by Chris Brauns

I first read this book in the wake of the situation that precipitated my fall into depression. Our pastor, someone we considered almost family, made choices that led to our family’s existence and livelihood being upended. First I was depressed, and then I was angry, and then I felt guilty that I was still angry at him, even though he had never apologized or sought to reconcile our relationship. This book looks straight at Scripture and unpacks what the Bible says about what forgiveness means. This continues to be my top recommendation to anyone who is struggling with having been sinned against.

I went and got this book from Christian’s office again last week after realizing I was still harboring resentment toward some people who have sinned against me. It is a book that is still forming me.

Deserted by God? Understanding the Ways of God Through the Experiences of the Psalmists by Sinclair Ferguson

If I had to choose the book that formed me the most from this list, it would be this one. It has been a companion through many long seasons of grief and hardship. The author takes you straight to the Psalms, the ones where people are crying out and asking God the hardest questions. This book was first pressed into my hands by a beloved pastor, and I will never forget him picking it up off his desk, reading select portions to me, and then sending it home with me to keep. I assume he ordered himself another copy, because he had been preaching through the Psalms at the time, but I kept his book with all of his notes. I remember the first time I read this, I thought, “This author knows what it’s like to struggle with depression.” I don’t have a copy right now because every time I buy one I end up giving it to someone, so I can’t share some of my favorite quotes, but suffice to say you could safely highlight the entire book.

A Long Obedience in the Same Direction: Discipleship in an Instant Society by Eugene Peterson

In my opinion, there is no better phrase to describe the Christian life than the title of this book. Before I read this book, I only knew of Eugene Peterson from The Message, and I grew up in spiritual communities where The Message was looked down on. It wasn’t until my 30s that I realized The Message was a very helpful way to experience Scripture and that Eugene Peterson was not some random guy trying to rewrite the Bible, but rather a pastor and thoughtful man who left a wonderful legacy of shepherding Christians toward true discipleship.

A Praying Life: Connecting with God in a Distracting World by Paul Miller

You’ll see more of Paul Miller later on this list, because his books have all had a profound impact on my life. I have read this book at least four times, and after trying lots of different ways to “organize” my prayer life, I always revert back to notecards and the method he recommends in this book. Aside from practical tips, though, this book made me want to pray more.

None Like Him: 10 Ways God is Different From Us (and Why That’s a Good Thing) by Jen Wilkin

For years, A.W. Tozer’s book The Attributes of God was the best book to read about how God is different from us. I think Wilkin’s book is at least on the same level if not better, mostly because it is written with more modern language. This was one of Wilkin’s first book, and she has continued to write solid books about the Lord and his Word.

Good and Angry: Redeeming Anger, Irritation, Complaining, and Bitterness by David Powlison

David Powlison is another author whose books I will always read. This book is for those who know they struggle with anger and for those who don’t think they do (because, spoiler alert, you probably do and just call it by a less aggressive name!). This book has lots of reflection questions at the end of each chapter that I would recommend working through slowly if you do take this book on. It will be a blessing if you do.

Praying the Bible by Donald S. Whitney

I think that I will be learning about how to pray better until the day that I die. It’s often a struggle, so I am extremely thankful for books that have taught me about prayer. This book is especially wonderful because it teaches you how to improve your prayer life by using God’s Word. There is no magic formula to becoming better at prayer, but this book shows you an extremely accessible way to start learning.

Refresh: Embracing a Grace-Paced Life in a World of Endless Demands by Shona Murray

This book is written by the wife of a pastor and counselor and serves as a sort of Titus 2 woman in book form. It is geared toward women and addresses the very real struggles we face as we try to do all the things we are called to do while also following Jesus well. I have gifted this book to many friends who were on the cusp or in the midst of burnout, and I have benefitted from it as well. The first time I read it, it came as a surprise to me that I might have been struggling at the time because I wasn’t getting nearly enough sleep. This book is chock full of both spiritual and practical advice.

(David Murray has also written a book geared toward men called Reset: Living a Grace-Paced Life in a Burnout Culture.)

An Unhurried Life: Following Jesus’ Rhythms of Work and Rest by Alan Fadling

I have recommended this book to so many people with a type-A personality, because I think we are especially prone to struggling with busy-ness and chaos but just muscling through. As a result, we suffer, and so do our families. At the same time, it can be hard to know what our other options are. This book shows a better way by following the example that Jesus set for us in the Gospels.

The Imperfect Pastor: Discovering Joy in Our Limitations Through a Daily Apprenticeship with Jesus by Zack Eswine

Sensing a theme? In 2017, in the wake of the birth of our third child, I went through a season where I really started to understand that I was a person with limits. For years I continued to blow past them and exhaust myself, and it is a lesson I am still learning to this day. But having the idea of limits on my radar was a huge shift in my thinking.

Although this book appears to be written toward pastors, and it certainly has some sections that relate primarily to that audience, it is a book for everyone, because we all struggle to find joy in our limitations.

Devoted to God: Blueprints for Sanctification by Sinclair Ferguson

The books that have formed me the most are, not surprisingly, books that help me engage better with Scripture. This book takes long passages of Scripture and goes on deep dives to show how God intends to change us. I came to love Scripture more as a result of this book, and it is one that I have gone back and revisited multiple times. It is a wonderful book to use as part of a discipleship relationship.

Untangling Emotions by J. Alasdair Groves and Winston T. Smith

I re-read this book last year and listed it in one of the best books I read in this category. It continues to be the most book on emotions that I have ever read. There is a newer book with a very similar name that I have not read, but having read other books by that author, I am pretty sure this book is a better option. It explains the wide spectrum of emotions without labeling them as good or bad, but instead challenging us to look at what our emotions are telling us about what’s going on in our hearts.

The Art of Neighboring: Building Genuine Relationships Right Outside Your Door by Jay Pathak

I am by nature someone who tends to turn inward, but this book encouraged me to look outward. This is, I guess, a book about evangelism, but it is about how to have actual relationships with people who don’t know Jesus. It’s not about turning your neighborhood into a project—it’s about how to live your life alongside the people in the place where God has called you.

The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict by Ken Sande

You can’t live in the world without experiencing conflict, but Christians should be the very best at attempting to resolve them. Sadly, at least in my experience, that isn’t the case. This is the textbook for how to resolve conflict biblically. It is a monster to read through, but it is worth it.

Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy: Discovering the Grace of Lament by Mark Vroegop

When this book came out, it was a much-needed resource on what it looks like to lament. I hadn’t read anything like it prior. It is a book that both my husband and I have continued to recommend to anyone going through a season of deep suffering.

J-Curve: Dying and Rising with Jesus in Everyday Life by Paul Miller

Paul Miller shows up again! I have found that there is some redundancy across Miller’s books, but it is only because he is a man living the ordinary Christian life. There is nothing magical or fancy about following Jesus for decades. This book highlights both the joys and the sorrows of the Christian life and gives encouragement for when we go through experiences that feel like death.

The Soul of Shame: Retelling the Stories We Believe About Ourselves by Curt Thompson

Of all the books I’ve read in the past few years, this one continues to come to mind on normal days when I’m struggling. What stuck out to me the most from this book was that in order to silence the voice of shame, we have to hear a voice that’s louder—and that’s the voice of Jesus.

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I hope you enjoyed meeting 20 of my best book friends, and I hope if you haven’t ever met them, you’ll choose one or two to start reading.

In closing, I’d love to know which books have formed you over the years. I love hearing from you!