If you’re one of the new readers who subscribed after reading about a bunch of books I didn’t enjoy, welcome! I mostly write about books, although every once in a while I’ll write a personal essay or share something completely unhinged. You can read a little more about me here. Every month I post a recap of the books I read. I’m glad to have you here!

When the year started, I blocked off enough pages in my bullet journal to chronicle my reading of up to 200 books. I have read that many books in one year before, but I knew it was probably going to be a stretch, and the year turned out to be even crazier than I anticipated (and it’s not even over yet). Here’s a fun little graph I made showing the number of books I’ve read each month.1

This month I read 15 books, which is slightly more than my average books per month this year, which is 14.1. I’m about halfway through the 8th page of my book tracker in my bullet journal.

While reading 14-15 books in both November and December will be nothing to scoff at, it’s going to put me right at about 170 books for the year. I’m not upset I won’t hit 200 books, because 1) I’m not trying to win a reading competition, 2) reading has brought me great joy all year, and 3) I’ve now added 170 books to my backlog of books to write about and include in reading roundups in the future, whether I liked them or not. I don’t tell myself that 170 books is really good because most people don’t read any books. Not everyone likes to read, and that’s OK. I do.

I will admit that some of the books I read this month were very short, but I also read two books that each approached more than 900 pages. If you average out my page counts, it was about 270 pages per book, which is nothing to sneeze at. I read just over 4,000 pages total, about 130 pages a day, while also making sure five other humans and myself were clothed and fed along with all the other things I have going on.

This month I have divided the books I read into 5 different categories, although the symmetrically-minded among you will be disappointed that it didn’t break down into 5 groups of 3.

Swan Song by Robert McCammon

This book had been on my TBR for a while, but it wasn’t available on audiobook, so I was suspending and unsuspending my hold on the eBook while I was finishing up the first three books of The Dark Tower series.2 Before starting Wizard and Glass (see below), it became available. My husband and I were going to be traveling so I checked it out and began reading it on our long car ride. I read the entire book, all 860ish pages of it, in one day while playing passenger princess. I absolutely loved it and am grateful to whoever recommended it. It’s a post-apocalyptic nightmare of a tale that captured me in the same way Stephen King’s The Stand did the first time I read it.3 It also reminded me a lot of The Passage by Justin Cronin, so much so that I started to wonder how much of the book inspired Cronin’s series, to the point of being derivative. The world-ending event in Swan Song is nuclear war, while The Passage contains vampire-like beings who escape from a governmental facility, but both books center on a young girl who seems to have some kind of supernatural/magical abilities. If anyone out there has read both these books, please share your thoughts!

Wizard and Glass by Stephen King

It’s hard for me to put into words how much I love this book. This is the fourth book in Stephen King’s The Dark Tower series, but it is the only one of the books in the series that exists almost entirely in flashback. The protagonist of the series, Roland Deschain, has up until this point in the series kept much back from his traveling companions, but they finally convince him to tell the story of how he ended up as the last gunslinger, doomed to wander a world that has moved on. He goes back to when he was a teenager and his father sent him and his two best friends to a small community in order to keep them occupied during a tumultuous political climate, but the three teens find that the Bad Guy’s minions have already infiltrated the town. Worst of all, Roland falls in love with a young woman named Susan Delgado. You get many mentions of Susan before this book, and you know that she is someone important from his past, but in this book, you get the whole heartbreaking story. I told my husband after finishing it this time that it would make such an excellent movie, but it actually wouldn’t, because you can’t appreciate the book without having read the first three books and seeing what the trauma of Roland’s past has done to him, and I don’t trust anyone to do the series justice to that extent. Hollywood absolutely butchered their attempt to make the first book of the series into a movie, so I’d rather them keep their hands off this one.

Every Note Played by Lisa Genova

My book buddy Nichole recommended this one, and for some reason, I assumed it was non-fiction. I read the entire book thinking the author had interviewed the husband and wife in the story and written about their lives. There were a few times when my brain pinged me that something felt off for nonfiction, but I ignored it. It wasn’t until it was over that I realized it was entirely fiction, although the author’s goal was to increase awareness of ALS. This realization only slightly decreased my enjoyment of the book, which is about a famous pianist who develops ALS and slowly loses his ability to play the piano, and, eventually, to care for himself. He and his wife have been divorced for years, but through happenstance, she finds out about his diagnosis and becomes his full-time caregiver. For all the fiction books I haven’t enjoyed, this one was such a pleasant surprise.

All Systems Red · Artificial Condition · Rogue Protocol · Exit Strategy
by Martha Wells

I finally started reading these after the encouragement of , and I’m so glad I did. This series is told from the perspective of a “sec(urity)-unit,” a robot who contains some organic components and was created to go with humans on dangerous missions and protect them. This sec-unit, though, who calls himself Murderbot, has hacked the component that allows him to be controlled by humans and is now an independent being. These first four books are all pretty short, more like novellas, but the next book in the series, which I’m reading now, is a full-length novel. These books were quick listens and truly hilarious. I can only imagine that someone who is on the autism spectrum would find great comfort in the way Murderbot describes his relationship with humans—not that I’m comparing them to robots, but rather that the author manages to imbue Murderbot with incredible humanity even while he has a hard time understanding the social and emotional dynamics of the humans he finds himself forced to be with. I listened to the audiobook version of these books narrated by Kevin R. Free, and I think that’s probably the best way to experience them.

Caddie Woodlawn by Carol Ryrie Brink

I had such a good time revisiting Sarah, Plain, & Tall last month that I decided to read a few more books I remembered loving when I was a child. I think I read this book multiple times, and I also remember watching the movie version. At first, I wasn’t sure how well the book had aged given its depiction of the relationship between the white people and the Native Americans, because the word “savages” comes up a few times. Caddie’s family has a positive relationship with the Native Americans who live near them, but most of the town does not. Overall the book made me a little uncomfortable, but it wasn’t problematic enough that I couldn’t read it aloud to my kids and have intentional conversations about the content.

Where the Red Fern Grows by Wilson Rawls

I remembered this book was really sad at the end and it had something to do with hunting dogs, but that was about it. What a delight this book was to listen to. I can think of very few books written in the last 20 years that I’ve read, whether written for adults or children, that are as well-written as this book. The relationships between Billy and his dogs, between him and his parents, between him and his grandfather, between him and his sister—they are all beautiful. I also found myself also brought to tears at the appearance of a blue tick coonhound in the story. I never would have guessed 30 years ago when I read this book that one day we would have a blue tick of our own.4

Honest Evangelism by Rico Tice

Our small group at church is currently going through a class called Christianity Explored, which the author of this book helped develop decades ago. He is a British evangelist who is one of the most winsome writers and speakers I’ve ever encountered on the topic of evangelism. Every Christian should read this book!

I Prayed and Nothing Changed: What God Is Up To in the Silence by Ste Casey

This is one of the best books on prayer I’ve ever read, and I have read a lot of books on prayer. After teaching an entire retreat on the topic of prayer, I found myself in a spiritually dark and lonely place for most of the spring and summer. Chronic pain has been my companion now for almost two years, and it began to wear on me in a way that was affecting me deeply. I felt like the author of this book could see right into what I was feeling and spoke to it with the truth of Scripture. This will be a book I reread and recommend to others.

Reaching Your Child’s Heart: A Practical Guide to Faithful Parenting by Juan and Jeanine Sanchez

This is a wonderful parenting book that I’d recommend to just about any Christian parent. That said, I have read a lot of parenting books and I didn’t feel it contained much new information; rather, it felt like it contained much of the best parenting advice from all the other books I’ve read. That’s not to say that they were plagiarizing. I just don’t think there is much new to say. If someone has not read much about parenting, I think this is a great book to start with.

How Can I Make the Most of Sunday Services? by Erin Wheeler

This is a small booklet that I received at a retreat I went to last month. While it wasn’t mind-blowing for me, I think it would be a great resource for someone who is new to church or who is struggling with why it’s important to be at church on Sunday mornings.

Raising Kids in a Hyper-Sexualized World by Eliza Huie

This was another short little booklet that I think would be very helpful for parents who haven’t read much on this topic (or who don’t love long books!). I had encountered all the information in other books I’ve read, but it’s still a great little book.

Land Ho!: Seven Keys to Navigating the Adventurous & Challenging Waters of Change by Mark Hallock and Walker Armstrong

I’m torn on this book. On one hand, the content and principles were sound and I foud it helpful to think about in terms of our church. That said, the format of the book was that every chapter began with a dialogue between an experienced pastor and a younger pastor who was struggling with changing things at his church. I found it so incredibly cheesy I almost couldn’t finish the book. If that doesn’t bother you or if you think the topic would be helpful, I’d recommend it, but be forewarned.

That’s it for October! If you’re new here, I’d love to know your favorite genre. Whoever you are, let me know if you’ve read any of these books and the best (or worst) book you read this month. I’m here for the hot takes.

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The added bonus of having read a popular book is that I have at least a little bit of cred when I say I didn’t like it. These 15 books were all the rage when they came out, and some are still going strong. I didn’t necessarily dislike all of them—I just thought they were overrated. Feel free to disagree.

Daisy Jones & The Six by Taylor Jenkins Reid

I listened to this book, which was a good way to experience it, and it was my first TJR book. I think the way it is written with different perspectives is one reason why it is so highly rated. I don’t think it was a bad book, but it just wasn’t this incredible book that I talked about to everyone for months to come. It felt pretty forgettable.

Once There Were Wolves by Charlotte McConaghy

One problem some books have is not knowing what genre they belong in. This book reads like normal fiction and then inexplicably changes into magical realism. If it had stayed in the real world, I think it could have been a really good book. Instead, the magical realism serves as a deux ex machina that feels like it erases all of the conflict in the book up to that point.

Heart the Lover by Lily King

I thought this book was going to change my life based on how other readers were talking about it. When it was over, I said to myself, “That’s it?” It was well-written and I did enjoy most of the experience of listening to it, but I can think of dozens of books I would recommend over this one when it comes to general fiction.

Normal People by Sally Rooney

I haven’t read any Sally Rooney since this book, and I feel like maybe I should give her another try, but I haven’t because I disliked this book so much. I did not like the two main characters and felt like they never really owned up to all of their poor decisions.

Leave the World Behind by Rumaan Alam

The author leaves the mystery of what is happening outside of the house where the entire book takes place up to our imaginations, but the lack of specificity or even clues leave you waiting, and waiting, and waiting for the big reveal at the end. It never comes.

Where the Crawdads Sing by Delia Owens

This is actually a well-written book, but it did not knock me out of the park. It was fine. Fine! And yet when it came out everyone was talking about it like it was the next Anna Karenina. The ending was also SUPER predictable.

The Cabin at the End of the World by Paul Tremblay

As I have already said, I love a good end of the world story. However, like Leave the World Behind, this one doesn’t give any answers at the end. It also includes an extremely cruel scene that does not propel the story forward in any way.

Here One Moment by Liane Moriarty

I have loved so many of Moriarty’s books, so I was excited when this one came out. It fell so flat compared to her other books. I don’t even remember how it ended. It was a complete disappointment to me.

Throne of Glass by Sarah J. Maas

Excuse me while I hide behind something while I say that I did not like this book. I read this years ago when everyone was talking about it, and Sarah J. Maas’ following has only grown exponentially since then. I have not read any of her other books, because I disliked this one so much. I am not a big fantasy fan and I don’t read romance, and that’s basically all this book is. The non-romance parts of the book seem to exist only to serve the romance.

The Midnight Feast by Lucy Foley

Reading this book felt like watching an interminable reel of vapid social media influencers, like the author was trying to infuse unnecessary drama into her book. You can tell a really good story without making your characters into caricatures, but maybe Lucy Foley is just trying to appeal to a certain kind of reader. I was not that reader.

The Maidens by Alex Michaelides\

Full disclosure: I do not enjoy Greek or Roman mythology. It holds no interest for me. So I am willing to concede that my dislike of mythology may have contributed to my opinion of this book. At the same time, I like to think I’m intelligent enough to set aside my dislike of something in order to critically analyze a book. I did want to find out what was going to happen, but the book was not well-written and was extremely predictable.

Sharp Objects by Gillian Flynn

Reading Gone Girl was a transformative experience for me. It was the first time I remember being taken surprise by an unreliable narrator, and I will never forget the exhilaration of it. The premise of this book was interesting, but the execution fell apart in a number of areas. You guys know I like books with disturbing things in them1, but this book doesn’t actually seem to realize its most disturbing elements are disturbing. It also ends up with what I felt was a truly predictable ending.

The Women by Kristin Hannah

This one pains me to mention because I have loved so many of Hannah’s books. I did enjoy the setting and time period, as I knew very little about the Vietnam War, and especially the role of women overseas. But past that, it felt like Hannah included some of the same plot lines from her previous books and also made the main character supremely unlikable. I think in her attempt to show the horrors of war and the impact of PTSD on veterans, she forgot some important literary elements, such as causing me to care about the people in the story. And don’t even get me started on the ending.

Buckeye by Patrick Ryan

I waited eagerly for this book and took the two endorsements by Anns of different last names as a sign that I would love this book, because I have loved their books.2 Sadly, this book made me angry. I wrote about it in the month that I read it, but my main problem with this book is the anachronistic performativeness the author felt was necessary. By that I mean that he introduces issues of sexuality, gender, and race that are not treated as they would have been in the time period in which the book is set. I’m not saying that an author may not write about gay people in the 1950s, but this book felt like the author was trying to say, “I’m going to include all the hot-button issues that get people riled up in 2026 and make a book set in 1950!” In my opinion, it did not work. If you’re going to write about it, make it believable. Additionally, some of the characters make truly terrible decisions and never seem to suffer any consequences for them. No thanks.

Theo of Golden by Allen Levi

I saved this one for last in hopes that anyone who loved this book was offended by my thoughts on one of the first 14 books on this list and would abandon the post entirely so as not to be angry at me. I read this almost a year ago, before it was even more popular than it is now. There are many different reasons why I did not enjoy this book. To me, it read like a Hallmark movie, by which I mean it was not well-written. In addition to the frequently poor use of figurative language, he uses ellipses in places other than written dialogue. Many characters in the book are based on tropes or stereotypes. The main character is too perfect. He does not read like a real person.

I had to force myself to finish this book. It took me weeks. Now, the popularity of this book begs the question, Why do so many people love it? It’s a fair question. I think that most people like it because it portrays an idyllic town where kindness wins and many of the people show each other mercy and grace. People love this book because of the way it makes them feel. They see the beauty in some of the human interactions, and they rightly long for a world where everyone acts like this all of the time. If this book encourages people to be kinder to each other, great. But this book got ten thousand times more hype than it deserved. (Side note: I recently heard someone describe this book as a parable. If that is the framework I had going into it, I might have felt differently. But that is not how the book is being marketed and what I expected based on the hype was not at all what I got.)

Now that I’ve probably offended almost everyone reading this, I’d love to know where you agree or disagree, and if you’re going to keep reading despite me offending you?

October is here, and as I thought about some book round-ups I could do, I was surprised to discover I’ve never posted any kind of list of spooky books. Last October, I wrote about ministry life and pastors,1 which I don’t regret at all, but I was still a little upset that I had missed the opportunity to share some of my favorite books that I think are perfect reads for this time of year.

I am not going to include any specific trigger warnings for these books, because the reason they are spooky is that they have disturbing elements. If that’s not your cup of tea, check out one of my other book roundups.

In the Woods: A Novel by Tana French

I’m starting the list off with a book that is spooky but more mystery and less horror. The writing is excellent and in addition to being a whodunnit, it’s also an incredible character study of the two detectives. What makes this book spooky is that you really don’t know who in the book you can trust. You’re just along for the ride.

See other books I read in June 2025 along with this one.

After Oz by Gregory McAlpine

Maybe because it includes witches, the story of the Wizard of Oz has always given off spooky Halloween vibes. This book takes Dorothy’s experience in Oz in a very interesting direction: We meet her after she has returned from Oz, but everyone in Kansas thinks she is crazy, and most of the book is a chronicle of her conversations with a psychiatrist.

I wrote about this and other favorite fiction reads from 2024 in one of my first posts.

Welcome to Night Vale by Joseph Fink and Jeffrey Cranor

This book came out of a podcast of the same title that started back in 2012 and is still creating new episodes. It contains stories from a fictional desert town where everything is a little off and nothing is as it really seems. This book is not only spooky but hilarious. I haven’t listened to the podcast in more than a decade but when it first came out, I really enjoyed it.

I Am Legend and Other Stories by Richard Matheson

If you’ve been here for a long time, you know that some of my favorite books at any time of year are about population-decimating diseases and/or zombies. This book includes both, and it centers on one man who is trying to survive and find a cure for his fellow humans. Some versions of the book also include other short stories by the author.

The Bad Seed by William March

Consider this one of the spookiest books ever written. It is a true horror story about a little girl who is in every possible way a bad seed. She appears to most people to be the picture of perfection, a beautiful, well-behaved child who everyone loves. But over the course of the book a few people, including her mother, find out that is very much not the case.

See other books I read along with this one in October 2025.

Fledgling by Octavia E. Butler

This book probably falls into the science fiction genre, but because it is about vampires, it belongs on any list of spooky reads. Shori looks like a child but is actually a decades-old vampire, and she wakes up after a terrible attack that has left most of her family dead (this happens early on and is not a spoiler). She doesn’t remember who she is, she just knows that she needs blood. The rest of the book involves her rediscovering her identity and trying to stay alive while the group that killed her family is still hunting her.

World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War by Max Brooks

Finally, zombies! The movie of the same title is one of the best zombie movies out there,2 and the book is an entirely different experience but just as good. There are many different narrators and points of view of what is happening from all over the world. The viewpoints slowly unfold the horror of what is happening as it sinks in for everyone.

Goblin: A Novel in Six Novellas by Josh Malerman

In this book, Goblin is the name of a town and the town is essentially the main character of the book in much the same way that Derry, Maine, functions as its own thing in the Stephen King universe. The book is made up of six long stories that are mostly independent of each other with only a few interconnected threads. What they have in common is that they all take place in Goblin, where terrible things seem to keep happening.

Malerman and Stephen King are two of my most-read fiction writers.

The Living Dead by George A. Romero

This is my favorite zombie book, and I wish they would make it into a movie. It is incredibly long and I never wanted it to end. The plot spans decades and includes viewpoints from a cast of characters as well as the perspective of the zombies themselves. If you enjoy zombie fiction as much as I do, this is a must-read.

Pet Sematary by Stephen King

Many King books could have made it onto this list, but I ultimately chose this one because I hadn’t mentioned it before and because I do think it is one of his most frightening books. Some of King’s books are disturbing because of the overall content, but this one book manages to include what feel like jump scares—kind of amazing in a non-visual medium. I hope I don’t need to overemphasize that this is a disturbing book in which many living things are killed and/or die. The premise: A family moves into a new home and discoveres a pet graveyard in the woods that seems to have some kind of supernatural secret. When tragedy happens, the father decides to try to use the powers of the pet cemetery to fix everything. Spoiler alert: Everything goes horribly wrong.

Do you have any favorite spooky books for this time of year? Do you prefer pandemics, zombies, or vampires? I’d love to hear from you!

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Other lists that include books with spooky vibes

• 21 Books about Cults and Groupthink

• 25 Books Worth Reading that are 600 pages or Longer

• 15 Long-ish Fiction Books to Get Lost In But Still Finish (400-600 pages)

Guys, how is it already October? I can’t believe the year is 2/3rds of the way over. It also does not feel like October. But October is here, and that means it’s time for spooky books. I’m working on a post of my favorite spooky books so that you can join me in this endeavor! But for now, here is a breakdown of the 15 books I read in September. My average books per month is now rising after a very sad decline over the summer, and I’m hoping to stay at around 15 books for each of the last three months of the year. I’ve read 126 books so far this year, so my reach goal is to make it to 175 books; my realistic goal is to make it to 165 books for the year. It’s not as high as most of the previous years, but since most people don’t even read one book a year, I’m not losing sleep over this.

Here are some interesting stats from the books I Read this month:

• Categories: 3 spiritual, 2 nonfiction, and 10 fiction books

• Ratings: 3 5-star books, 11 4-star books, and 1 3-star book

• Format: 6 print books and 9 audiobooks (no ebooks!)

• Nine of the books I read were more than 20 years old; six were from before the year 2000

• I read almost 4,000 pages at an average page-length of 262 pages

Without further ado, here are the 15 books, in no particular order other than category, kind of.

Chronic Illness: Walking By Faith by Esther Smith

This was a re-read, because I felt like I needed to be reminded of the truths of this book almost a year after the first time I read it. I wish I weren’t still living with chronic pain, but I am, and reading about the author’s experience was just as encouraging the second time around. If you or someone you love is dealing with chronic illness, I can’t recommend this book highly enough.

Sound Doctrine: How a Church Grows in the Love and Holiness of God by Bobby Jamieson

Our church worked through this book over the summer as part of a book study. If you are new to Christianity or new to being involved in a local church, this would be a great book to pick up.

The Prayers of Jesus: Listening to and Learning from Our Savior by Mark Jones

The content of this book is tremendous. The author works through dozens of times that Jesus prayed in the New Testament and walks the reader through them. However, I don’t know why, but this book felt like a slog. I was interested in the topic and certainly wanted to know more about prayer and how to pray like Jesus. But the writing or the pacing or something was just really tough to make it through.

Boat Baby by Vicky Nguyen

You guys know I love a good memoir, but this one was just fine. I never want to pass judgment on someone’s experiences, and the fact that the author came to America on a boat out a difficult situation does give it a unique take. Her thoughts on growing up as an outsider in her community would probably be relatable to many people. She worked very hard to succeed in her field and also tried to care for her parents even as she had her own family. So I am not saying any of that is bad; I’m just saying the book was just fine. Not great.

The Great Shadow: A History of How Sickness Shapes What We Do, Think, Believe, and Buy by Susan Wise Bauer

This book wasn’t as good as I hoped it would be. I personally love books about disease and sicknes, and as the author is one of the founders of modern classical education, I thought her analysis would be solid. But I was disappointed at the way she interpreted and characterized parts of history, particularly areas where religion was involved. I finished it because it wasn’t poorly written, but it won’t stick out in my mind.

Maisie Dobbs by Jacqueline Winspear

I started this thinking it was an old classic detective novel, only to find out it was published in 2003! No matter; it was still an excellent book, and I am considering reading more of the books in the series (I believe there are 18). Maisie Dobbs is a young woman who is part private-eye, part psychotherapist, part sociologist, and she is called upon at the beginning of the book to find out where a rich man’s wife is going on the train. It is a very emotionally intelligent and self-aware book, and it managed to avoid all the worst cliches of this genre.

The Borrowed Life of Frederick Fife by Anna Johnston

My mom recommended this book to me, and I don’t think she’s ever recommended something I haven’t liked. Our taste in books has a wide overlap, and she also knows me about as well as anyone. This book is almost the inverse of A Man Called Ove and also reminded me of the television series The Man on the Inside with Ted Danson. It is a delightfully funny book and the narrator is Australian, which made the experience of the book even better. The premise is that a man named Frederick, who has fallen on hard times and is depressed after the death of his wife, accidentally gets mistaken for a nursing home resident who dies suddenly (without the nursing home staff realizing it). He then takes on that man’s identity and all the complications you can imagine ensue.

The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster

Earlier this year I began revisiting some of the books I enjoyed growing up. Many of these books have been re-released on audiobooks with incredible narrators. I had actually never read this book, surprisingly—as I listened to it at age 40, I thought about how much 10-year-old Chelsey would have loved it. I don’t know how I made it through childhood without reading this one. It’s wonderfully witty and smart and clever, and it’s narrateed by none other than Rainn Wilson (aka Dwight Schrute).

Sarah, Plain and Tall · Skylark · Caleb’s Story · More Perfect than the Moon
by Patricia MacLachlan

Continuing my journey through books of my childhood, the first book in this series is one I remember loving. I also remember watching a film version, and having just looked it up, was surprised to find it was produced in the early 1990s by the Hallmark channel, with none other than Glenn Close in the leading role of Sarah (Close narrates all of the audiobooks). The premise of the first book is that two children, Anna and Caleb, and their father, Jacob, have been living alone on the prairie in the Midwest since the children’s mother died the day after Caleb was born. Jacob puts out an advertisement for a wife, and he begins communicating by letter with Sarah, who lives in Maine. She eventually comes for a visit, and while she initially misses the sea, ends up marrying Jacob and becoming the children’s stepmother. But she breaks all the stepmother stereotypes in how she cares for Anna and Caleb. The rest of the books continue with more adventures of Anna, then of Caleb as he grows older, and then of their half-sister, Cassie, who is born in the third book. (There is also a fifth book in the series.) I listened to the four of these books over two days; they are each no more than about 2 hours long. It was a lovely way to end the month, and I’ve got my eye on some other children’s classics for October.

The Gunslinger · The Drawing of the Three · The Waste Lands1
by Stephen King

I have been trying to make my way through Stephen King’s entire collection, which is no small task, but in the midst of that I decided I wanted to revisit his Dark Tower series. This is my third time reading it—the first time was a mix of print and eBooks in 2017, and the second time was listening to all of it on audio in 2026. I decided I wanted to read the print version and purchase my own copies so that I could highlight and write notes as I was reading. I flew through the first two books and managed to finish the third book by the end of the month. (The books get progressively longer: the first book in the series is only a couple hundred pages; the last book is about 900 pages long.)

I honestly think I am enjoying it even more this third time than I have before. To be fair, there are some very disturbing scenes throughout the series (which is standard for Stephen King—he can’t seem to write a book without there being something weirdly sexual involved…. reading in print is great because you can skim past those parts). What is standing out to me in these slower readings is not only what an incredible writer King is but also the number of references to pop culture, the classics, and even the Bible throughout the books.

I’m not going to say much more about these books because I plan to write a post once I’ve read through the whole series, but if you haven’t read them and decide to start, don’t stop after the first book. You absolutely cannot skip the first book, but it is the least exciting book of the series and the setting and pacing is not indicative of the rest of the series. You need to read it so you can begin to understand Roland. Then you get to move on to the second book and meet the rest of the ka-tet (IYKYK), and if you make it to the third book, you will get to meet Oy, who is one of the greatest non-human book characters of all time. In the fourth book, which is one of my favorite books of all time, you will learn about Roland’s backstory, and then the remaining three books are a downhill run toward the conclusion of the series.

That’s it for September! I’d love to know what you read this month, and what some of your favorite childhood chapter books were so I can add them to my list.

“Dispatches from the Dopamine Den” is a post that I (try to) write monthly that serves as a curation of all the things I used to share on social media. (The title comes from the name of my favorite room in our house.) It includes life updates, interesting things I found online, what I’ve watched this month, and anything else I feel like sharing.

It has been many months since I wrote a dispatch from the Dopamine Den, and each month since April I have wanted to, and life has gotten away from me. Many of those months I had a note going on my phone where I’d jot things down to share at the end of the month, and it didn’t happen.

It pains me to have a large gap between these posts because I will never be able to make a list of this year’s DFTDD posts without a gap, but that’s a perfectionistic, completist mindset and I’m going to reject that. I’ll do this when I’m able to. Something is better than nothing!

What We Did

September flew by. We began the month by going to Tennessee for our annual Labor Day friend reunion. Christian and I met when he was in college at Sewanee, and he had a solid group of friends who I also got to know when we were dating and I’d go visit him. Against all odds, we have maintained most of these friendships for the last twenty years. That feels insane to type. For the last 11 years, we have gathered yearly and everyone who can come meets in the county where my husband grew up. Two of those friends, who also got married, planted a church in that county about 5 years ago, so we stay with them when we go back. Our kids are dear friends—almost cousins.

This was the second year that our older boys didn’t get to come because of marching band. But it was the first year that our oldest could drive and so leaving them for the weekend required almost no logistical planning on my part. It was great. We enjoyed our time with just the little kids and spent one day exploring Sewanee on our home. Somehow we had never visited the equestrian center, and the kids were thrilled to get to pet horses for the first time.

Then we went on a hike to a place Christian and I hiked together decades ago, and the little kids complained for most of it how tired their legs were, and then it started pouring rain on the way back, and we got soaked. It ended up being a memory making excursion.

The following weekend I went out of town on my own to a pastors’ wives conference in Atlanta. I rode with my friend Katherine, but while I was in Atlanta I got to spend several hours with my friend, Lauren, who is another pastor’s wife but who was not attending the conference. (She reads my Substack. Hi, Lauren!) We met last year in Key West at another conference. It was amazing to spend time with her, even if it was just for a few hours!

I also got many amazing books at the conference and was very excited to put them on my TBR shelf in the Dopamine Den, which was already full and had no need to be replenished. Some of these books are ones I purchased on behalf of our church that will make their way to our free book table at church, but most of the others are ones that were free gifts as part of the conference. There is truly nothing I love more than free books that are good books. The top right book in particular is written by Connie Dever, wife of Mark Dever at Capitol Hill Baptist Church, and it is almost a textbook. I don’t think I’ll ever reach enlightenment on how to best do ministry while also sustaining your marriage and raising children, so I’m really excited to hear what she has to say.

We are knee deep in extracurricular activities what with the boys in marching band and Scouts and Zoe doing cheerleading with Upward at a local church. She is loving it and because she inherited her parents’ giant genes, she finds herself as one of the foundational cheerleaders for all of the stunts. I love how much she loves it and am very thankful that the team is very chill.

My parents came into town for one weekend this month to see the boys play in the marching band and watch Zoe cheer. We always love having Grammy and Grandpa in town because they spoil all of us and cheerfully come along with whatever we have scheduled.

Other than all of that, I have thrown myself into my duties as president of the marching band boosters and am loving just about every bit of it (there have been a few headaches). I love getting to see our big boys more during the week, I love making spreadsheets to improve how things work, and I especially love getting to know the other band parents. I truly enjoy being around them and know that some of these are going to be lifelong friendships.

What I Watched

🎥 Slow Horses (Apple TV)

This has been our show for the last many weeks. We just finished season 5, and our timing was perfect because season 6 is starting to release new episodes. The show centers around a group of MI5 agents in Great Britain who have been consigned to Slough House because of failures or mistakes they made in the line of duty. They are still agents, but they don’t ever get assigned anything important. Somehow, though, they always end up saving the day, usually in spite of themselves. It is a dark show, but it’s also really funny.

🎥 Ted Lasso (Apple TV)

We are in the midst of watching season 4, and while the number of same-sex relationships seems disproportionate, this season has been a lot better than last season.

🎥 Unchosen (Netflix)

I watched this on my own because—spoiler alert, I like cults—and it was fine. It was pretty violent if that bothers you. It also turned out to be more a mystery/thriller show than purely about a woman stuck in a cult, but it was a good binge. Although the people in it are very aware of the outside world, I kept being reminded of The Village, one of my favorite M. Night Shyamalan movies.

🎥 Death of a Pastor’s Wife (Netflix)

Everyone and their mom is talking about this, and I have now watched it twice. I watched it on my own and then I watched it with Christian. It was even worse the second time. There is nothing much to say about it to those who have watched it, because it’s mostly just a horrible story. If you haven’t watched it, prepare to be disturbed. I did love Mica’s lawyer, though—if I ever need legal counsel, I’ll travel to Myrtle Beach and hire her.

What I Listened To

I have been on a Maggie Rogers kick for about the last year. I never get tired of her music. If you’ve never seen the video of Pharrell Williams giving her feedback on her song Alaska, before she made it big, it’s worth a watch.

More recently, I discovered Sam Fender. I like his voice, but I think it’s the instrumentation in his songs that keeps me coming back. I love the keys, I love the bass lines, and I also love the random saxophones that appear in many of his songs.

Please note that both of these artists sometimes use bad words in their songs. They are by no means explicit or overly sexual, which is one reason I enjoy their music, but the F-word shows up here and there.

Closing Thoughts

One of the biggest trials this month has been my own chronic pain as well as Christian unexpectedly also developing pain emanating from his neck down into his arm. Mine has been going on for over a year, and as far as I know it’s not contagious, so it’s wild that both of us are now having a lot of the same symptoms. I am in the process of receiving care from a neurosurgeon, but insurance and timing has caused some of the treatments to be very far apart. Christian is also being treated but dealing with our insurance in both cases has been really frustrating.

It is humbling to be in pain every day. I cannot control it, I cannot fix it, and many days I cannot predict how bad it will be. Some days it’s mild enough that by keeping busy I can distract myself, but some days I want to find a big open field and scream, because I am so tired of it hurting. The pain has been my constant companion for close to 18 months, and it’s hard for me to remember life without it. This has affected me physically, as I have gained back almost all the weight I lost several years ago, but it has affected me most spiritually.

There is a place your mind can go when you keep praying for relief every day, for days and weeks and months, and it doesn’t seem like anything has changed. In fact, sometimes it seems like it’s getting worse. As a Christian, I believe that God is sovereign over all things. I also want to believe what the Bible says about how much God loves me. By joining these two truths, I come to the conclusion that what I am experiencing and what Christian is experiencing does not mean that God doesn’t love me and does not mean that he doesn’t see what’s happening. On a day-to-day basis, though, this is a hard truth to hold. All I have known to do is to keep getting up every morning to read my Bible and pray to the Lord, who has seemed largely silent these past many months.

I share this because I know I’m not alone. All of us are suffering in different ways at any given time, and we are weak and fragile creatures. Continuing to trust that we have a good God who loves us and who sees us and who has some purpose for our good in our suffering feels cliche to even type. Coffee mug quotes and Instagram one-liners aren’t enough. We just have to keep throwing ourselves at the throne of grace, sometimes kicking and screaming as we go, and keep reminding ourselves that one day, he’s going to make everything right.

Maranatha, come, Lord Jesus!

In college, I married my love of words to my love of the human mind by getting degrees in journalism and psychology. I didn’t have plans for how to turn those two fields into a career, but I didn’t need to do that in order to be fulfilled, because I’ve spent the last twenty years reading and writing and thinking and learning on my own.

Without any other forces weighing in when it comes to choosing a book, I often turn to memoirs. It makes all the sense in the world, because a memoir is someone using words to describe the way they have processed all or some of their life experiences. I’ve been doing the same thing in my journals for decades, even if I haven’t turned it into a book. I especially love reading about how people who have experienced real trauma and suffering have come out on the other side and how they now look back on those experiences.

It was interesting for me to realize that of these 25 memoirs I’m about to share, only a few are by celebrities. Most of them are by very ordinary people who decided to write about their lives.

I’ve already written about what makes a good memoir and shared some that I didn’t enjoy. But I’m never one to leave you hanging forever! Here are 25 memoirs I loved, ranked from #25 up to #1. (Note: This ranking is not exact; I mostly went by spontaneous feelings in the moment when considering the lower half. The upper half are pretty specifically ranked.)

Sociopath: A Memoir by Patric Gagne

The author is a clinically diagnosed sociopath, and this book is her reflections on her childhood and what her life is like now. It’s a fascinating look at sociopathy and how it manifests in a way that does not involve being a serial killer. I found it increased my compassion toward people with serious mental health diagnoses and also thought the author was extremely brave to write a book about her life. (I also enjoyed the Armchair Expert interview with her.)

The Well-Trained Wife: My Escape from Christian Patriarchy by Tia Levings

I listened to this book in one day last year while cleaning my house. I found myself becoming increasingly uncomfortable as she described the different church settings she was in as a child and young adult, because I would call them “adjacent” to churches I have been connected to in the past. My life could have gone very differently if I had grown up in a church like the ones she was at. Her story is painful and harrowing, but it’s an important look at high control groups and how even churches and communities that would call themselves evangelical Christians can be extremely unsafe places to be. ( is very active on Substack.)

Becoming by Michelle Obama

This might technically be a biography and not a memoir, but as one of the few ‘celebrity’ authors on my list, I wanted to include it. Hearing about her early life, how she met her husband and what life was like on the political scene was interesting. I also didn’t find the book overly political. I am guessing of my readers, you will be split between people who would be interested in reading this book and people who would never consider reading a book by someone who is a representative of an opposing political party. To the second group, I say—reading about people who are very different from you is a wonderful way to grow in curiosity and humility.

The Glass Castle: A Memoir by Jeannette Walls

This is on most memoir lists, and for good reason. Walls has written a powerful book about growing up in a home with parents who weren’t purposefully trying to harm her, but who for a variety of reasons seemed unable to appropriately care for their children. What draws me to memoirs like this is getting to hear how someone with this kind of childhood became an adult willing and able to write a book about it.

The Sound of Gravel: A Memoir by Ruth Wariner

Ruth Wariner’s uncle was Ervil LaBaron, who you might have heard of if you’ve seen the documentary Daughters of the Cult. Ervil actually killed her father, Joel LeBaron—his brother, due to some conflict within their cult. After her father was killed, her mother remarried and her already chaotic life became even more dysfunctional. She moved around a lot and also found herself trying to care for some of her siblings.

Educated: A Memoir by Tara Westover

This is probably one of the most famous recent memoirs. It was one of the first ones I read about someone who grew up in a high-control environment, and it was also the book that introduced me to Ruby Ridge and the impact that incident had on already mentally unstable individuals like Westover’s father.

Ghosted: An American Story by Nancy French

If you have felt like a political orphan over the past 10 years, this is the book for you. Nancy French is the wife of , a writer who I greatly appreciate, and she is a prolific writer herself. This mirrored many of my feelings about the political atmosphere within evangelicalism and helped me feel a little less crazy.

Acceptance: A Memoir by Emi Nietfeld

This is a somewhat “ordinary” memoir of a woman who grew up in what she realized later was an extremely dysfunctional family. It is the story of her growing up, processing the fact that her parents were not the people she wished they had been, and figuring out how to live her life.

How to Stay Married: The Most Insane Love Story Ever Told by Harrison Scott Key

This is probably the funniest memoir on the list, although the topic itself is not funny. The author’s wife had an affair, and this memoir is his story of deciding to stay married to her and how they restored their marriage. It doesn’t sound like it would be funny, but the author has an incredible sense of humor and doesn’t take himself too seriously. For the first third of the book I was very uncomfortable, because I couldn’t imagine how it would end well. Keep pressing on if you feel the same way! (Interesting tidbit: The author lives in Savannah, and I went to college with one of the friends he mentions in the book and have seen another one of his friends for counseling!)

How Reading Changed My Life by Anna Quindlen

This is the shortest memoir on the list, and it’s perfect for anyone who loves books. Reading has changed my life for the better, too.

The Sun Does Shine: How I Found Life and Freedom on Death Row by Anthony Ray Hinton

If you’ve read Just Mercy by Bryan Stevenson, then you might remember the story of Anthony Ray Hinton, one of the death row inmates who Stevenson found was wrongfully convicted. Hinton was released from prison after almost 30 years for a crime he didn’t commit. Hearing him describe his time on death row is painful but forces an honest look at our current justice system.

Raising Hare: A Memoir by Chloe Dalton

This is a unique memoir about a woman who finds an infant hare during Covid and becomes unexpectedly attached to it. This is a slow and quiet book with so many compelling observations of animals and nature.

Nobody’s Girl: A Memoir of Surviving Abuse and Fighting for Justice by Virginia Roberts Giuffre

Giuffre was one of the victims of Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell, and she committed suicide before this book was published. It is by far the most disturbing memoir on this list, because it contains graphic descriptions of the abuse that she experienced. Proceed with caution.

Dinner for Vampires: Life on a Cult TV Show by Bethany Joy Lenz

I never watched One Tree Hill, but I still loved this memoir, mostly because of the way Lenz processed the time she spent in a cult while she was working on the television show. The last few chapters alone are worth the time spent reading the book. It’s also pretty funny!

Strangers: A Memoir of Marriage by Belle Burden

This was all over the place earlier in 2026, so many of you might have already read it! This is the story of a very wealthy woman whose husband abruptly left her at the beginning of Covid. While many parts of her life are not at all relatable due to their very affluent lifestyle, I still found it a compelling read, because the emotions she writes about are common to everyone.

Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass by Frederick Douglass

Where to put the memoirs of former slaves on this list? I struggled, because it felt wrong to put them at the bottom, but it also didn’t seem genuine to put them at the top, although they are both really good. This is a short read and one I think everyone should tackle, especially if they live in America.

Twelve Years a Slave by Solomon Northup

I still remember the visceral reactions I had when my husband and I saw the movie based on this memoir in theaters. Solomon Northup was a free Black man who was kidnapped and sold into slavery in the South. The white men in his life were mostly merciless, and what he experienced almost reads as too terrible to be true, but it was.

All My Knotted-Up Life: A Memoir by Beth Moore

I cried at the end of this book. Much like the memoir by Nancy French, this book is for anyone who has felt like they don’t fit into concrete Christian denominational circles. Beth Moore reads the audiobook and that would be my recommendation for how to experience this book.

Maid: Hard Work, Low Pay, and a Mother’s Will to Survive by Stephanie Land

This is a memoir I think everyone should read because it is eye-opening as to what it’s like to be a single mother with a low-income job. Her perserverance in the face of so many obstacles is incredible, and it also shows how the American economy and government is ba mess when it comes to helping people who are legitimately doing the best they can. (There is also a great Netflix show based on the book!)

Careless People: A Cautionary Tale of Power, Greed, and Lost Idealism by Sarah Wynn-Williams

This is a memoir of a person and also of Facebook, to a degree. You ride along with the author and her excitement at getting to work for Facebook in its early days, and then you get to experience her increasing disillusionment and horror at what is happening behind the scenes.

Stories I Only Tell My Friends: An Autobiography by Rob Lowe

This is *literally* my all-time favorite celebrity memoir. Everything I said about Matthew McConaughey’s memoir, this book is the opposite. Rob Lowe has had an extensive career in television and film, but he doesn’t take himself too seriously and has somehow remained humble despite his achievements.

Hunger: A Memoir of (My) Body by Roxane Gay

The author is a woman who struggled with her body and her weight for many years. It is a memoir about trying to figure out her relationship with food and with her body. It’s not for everyone, and the author herself is controversial in some circles, but as someone who has struggled with how I feel about my body, I found it powerful.

Know My Name: A Memoir by Chanel Miller

It got hard to choose a favorite memoir as I ran down my list. But I still think about this one almost 10 years after I read it, so it had to be near the top. Miller was raped by a collegiate student athlete after attending a party, and this is the story of her dealing with not only the trauma but also the legal ramifications for the guy. It is a courageous story that had to be so difficult to write.

Wave: A Memoir by Sonali Deraniyagala

I listened to this memoir while I painted our bonus room last year and I think about it fairly often. The author was in Sri Lanka in 2004 when a tsunami hit. She lost her parents, her husband, and her two children, and barely escaped with her own life. It is a sobering account of how she dealt with unimaginable grief and loss.

Hollywood Park: A Memoir by Mikel Jollett

My favorite memoir ever is written by someone you probably haven’t heard of, but you might have heard of his band, Airborne Toxic Event. Jollett was born into the Synanon cult, but his mother eventually left the cult with him and his brother. Their life did not improve greatly even after leaving the cult, and this book is Jollett’s way of processing his life. His writing is wonderful and his ability to look at his life honestly is what puts this book at the top of my list. I’d recomend it to anyone!

Have you read any of these? Are there any really good memoirs you think could crack my top 25? Let me know!

When I started my Substack, I told myself that I’d never put any pressure on myself to write about anything in particular or to make myself publish on some kind of schedule. I had a lot of anxiety about that the first year, but I’ve settled into the fact that this is a hobby that is meant to bring enjoyment and not anxiety. Even so, I have posted a recap of all the books I have read each month since the beginning, and I don’t want to lose my streak.

So here are my August reads, one-third of the way through September. You’ll remember that July was a very depressing reading month. Not only did I read only about half as much as I usually do, but I enjoyed very few of them. I’m glad to share that August was a slightly better reading month in terms of numbers and a much better reading month in terms of content.

One reason I had been reading less this summer was because I took on a second client for whom I was doing at-home admin work. For reasons I will not go into here, I separated from that client halfway through August. It was a hard decision but I don’t regret it. While I wouldn’t say it gave me any more free time—my role as president of the high school marching band boosters has consumed much of the last several weeks—it did lessen my mental load and my anxiety, which has made me want to read more. September is already shaping up to be an even better reading month!

I usually separate my monthly reads into different categories, but with how late I’m posting this and how few books I read relative to other months, we’re just going to do a run-through in no particular order.

A Big Gospel in Small Places: Why Ministry in Forgotten Communities Matters by Stephen Witmer ⭐⭐⭐⭐

This book was an encouraging read as a pastor’s wife in a small town. It can be really discouraging to be at a small church at times, especially when there are other large churches nearby that seem to keep growing. This book was a good reminder not that big churches are bad, but that most churches are small, and there are unique opportunities to share the gospel when you live in a small town. Having never lived in a small town until we moved here 6.5 years ago, the phrase “it’s a small world” is too cliche to even use. My daughter’s elementary music and chorus teacher is married to the director of the high school marching band. My best friend’s sister-in-law is the nurse practitioner our kids see. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve been about to introduce two people to each other and it turns out they know each other from something 15 years ago or, sometimes, they are distantly related. I’m still not totally used to it, but I’m seeing how beautiful it is to put down roots in a place like this.

Famesick by Lena Dunham ⭐⭐⭐

I did not watch Girls or any of the other things Dunham was involved in, and maybe because of that, I didn’t immediately get sucked into this book. It was a chore to read. It had a lot of graphic sexual descriptions, many of which seemed unnecessary, and it was also just really sad. She has been through a lot of hard things to be sure, but she has also made a lot of questionable decisions that she didn’t seem to want to examine in this memoir, which is what I usually find most interesting in a memoir. I finished it so I could say I did, but I did not enjoy it.

Nightbitch by Rachel Yoder ⭐⭐⭐⭐

Perhaps not surprising given the name and the cover, this was a weird book. I only read it because I saw (not) recommend it. It sounded right up my alley. It turned out to be a little more in the magical realism category than I liked, but it was also a compelling book. I honestly think every mom of young kids should read the early chapters where the main character is describing the monotony of life with toddlers. I haven’t been in that phase for many years, and yet I almost wept at how seen I felt.

The Dog Stars by Peter Heller ⭐⭐⭐

This book was disappointing. I have wanted to read it for a long time because I have enjoyed many of Heller’s other books, and then I saw the trailer for the new movie when we went to see The Odyssey. But this book was just boring, which is saying a lot about a book that takes place at the end of the world.

The Family Man: Blood and Betrayal in the House of Murdaugh by James Lasdun ⭐⭐⭐⭐

While I already read a comprehensive book on the Murdaugh murders, this one was more of a psychological analysis of Alex Murdaugh himself. I found it fascinating, because the author is British and had a very outsider’s perspective of life in the South. At the very end of the book, he gives what he thinks is the best explanation of what happened that terrible night, and I thought it sounded extremely plausible.

The Hot Zone: The Terrifying True Story of the Origins of the Ebola Virus by Richard Preston ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

I got this book at a used bookstore and was so excited because I couldn’t find it at our local library. Did you know that there was almost an Ebola outbreak in Washington, DC, decades ago? Neither did I. This book traces the history of Ebola and also outlines the very scary epidemic that almost occurred in our country.

The Last Mandarin by Louise Penny and Melissa Fung ⭐⭐⭐

You guys know I love Penny’s Inspector Gamache series. I also enjoyed the book she wrote with Hillary Clinton. This one was not good. It felt contrived and poorly written. Everything that happened, I felt like I saw coming, and the main character was dreadfully annoying. There are many more political thrillers way better than this one.

Tuck Everlasting by Natalie Babbitt ⭐⭐⭐⭐

I know I read this book as a child, but I had no recollection whatsoever of the plot other than it was something about people living forever. It was recently released as an audiobook with Alexis Bledel of Gilmore Girls narrating it, so I checked it out on Libby. This was a quick and delightful listen. I’m committing to going back and reading more of these kinds of books, because they are always even better than I expect.

When People Are Big and God Is Small: Overcoming Peer Pressure, Codependency, and the Fear of Man by Ed Welch ⭐⭐⭐

The theme of this book was good, and it wasn’t a bad book, but I just don’t enjoy Welch’s writing. Many of the chapters felt redundant, and I found my mind drifting often. I also am not sure that the topic of this book is something I particularly struggle with (although I certainly have other weaknesses and sinful tendencies), so maybe that’s why it didn’t land. If you do think you struggle with this, though, you should give it a try.

Whistler by Ann Patchett ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

This was the best book I read this month. Ann Patchett can do very little wrong in my eyes. She actually narrates this one, and it was wonderful, although her books that are narrated by Tom Hanks and Meryl Streep are even better. I don’t even want to describe the plot of this book very much because it is better to let it unfold. I will say that at one point I was a little annoyed because like so many other books I’ve read recently that were published in the last decade, there is a central character who is homosexual. In many of the other books I’ve read, this plot point overtakes all other plot points to the detriment of the book. In this book, though, it is a thing that exists but does not become the entire book. This may be a dealbreaker for many of you regardless, so I wanted to mention it, but I still found the book powerful. One particular scene made me weep (and one of my best friends who also read it said the same). I’d especially recommend this book to the eldest sisters among us.

I always love sharing my reads, even though this one was late. I’d love to know if you’ve read anything good recently! And as always, if you’re not subscribed, please do so that you don’t miss future recaps.

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If I had to choose my very favorite book genre, which I wouldn’t want to do, I’d have to say memoirs. I love hearing real stories from real people, whether they are celebrities or not. Honestly, some of the best memoirs I’ve read are by celebrities who are just like us! in the way they describe their experiences.

What makes a good memoir? Anyone can write down what has happened to them over their lives or during a particular season of their lives. What makes it worth reading to me is how the interpret what has happened to them after the fact. None of us can go back in time, so I certainly don’t judge a memoir by how good or bad I think their life has been. A really good memoir is one in which the author looks honestly at what they’ve experienced and shares their thoughts about it after the fact. What this means is that most good memoirs cannot be written too close to the period of time they are describing. While not a blanket statement, memoirs by people under 40 tend to not be that good.

A good memoir also doesn’t have to be written by a celebrity. I think some celebrities write memoirs because they think their fans will consume any content about them, and that is probably true. But a good memoir is relatable, regardless of how famous the person is or what kind of once-in-a-lifetime experiences they have had. Memoirs where famous people just talk about all the cool things they’ve done and name-drop other celebrities are not good.

Good memoirs also have honest analyses of past decisions and choices. You can tell when the author of a memoir has been to see a therapist. There are no excuses made for bad choices; only explanations that the reader can relate to. For example, if I am recalling a period of my life when I was extremely depressed and failed to keep up with important obligations, I can talk about why I was depressed and why I felt like I couldn’t do anything, and I can also express grief at the way that impacted my family. But there are ways I could describe that time that are self-absorbed, and that would not be fun to read about unless you just enjoyed disliking me.

The following memoirs failed to pass the official Chelsey Crouch “good memoir” test. These books being on the list are not necessarily a judgment on the people who wrote them. I just don’t think they’re worth spending time reading when there are so many other incredible memoirs out there.

When I Was Your Age by Kenan Thompson

I watched All That and Kenan and Kel growing up and have enjoyed much of Kenan’s more recent work on Saturday Night Live, so I figured his memoir would also be entertaining. Unfortunately, it wasn’t really funny, and it felt like he wrote it just to pat himself on the back for how his life has turned out. The only parts I enjoyed were describing his time working with Kel and how the two of them reconciled their damaged relationship.

This book made it onto My 18 Least Favorite Books of 2024 list.

Ruthless: Scientology, My Son David Miscavige, and Me by Ron Miscavige

I love reading about cults, as you might already know, so a book about Scientology from someone on the inside piqued my interest. Unfortunately, this book failed to pass the “Is the author relatively self-aware?” test. Miscavige is unable to recognize that he was an active member of a harmful group of people for decades and he attempts to make himself out to be a victim of Scientology. He does a lot of name-dropping and most of the book is written as self-congratulatory. He wrote the book within only a couple of years of “escaping” Scientology, and I just don’t think enough time had passed for him to give an honest accounting of his experience.

Here are 21 Books about Cults and Groupthink that I enjoyed.

The House of My Mother: A Daughter’s Quest for Freedom by Shari Franke

I want to write about this book carefully, because I don’t want to discount the author’s experiences, most of which happened when she was a minor. No child should have to experience what she and her siblings experienced, and my heart aches at how her parents failed to care for her. However, this memoir was also written, I think, too soon after the experiences she was writing about. I think she needs many more years of therapy and loving community to be able to fully process her childhood.

The Tell: A Memoir by Amy Griffin

If you’d like to read about the controversy over this book and whether the author actually stole someone else’s abuse story and told it as her own, please read this post by Brooke Warner. That said, I read this before any of this had come out, and I already didn’t enjoy it—not because I thought she was lying, but just because it was so weird. The author claimed to have buried her abuse experience for years, and the only way she was able to help herself remember what happened was through psychedelic drugs. Now that the truth has come out about her stealing the story, all of this makes a lot more sense.

Here’s another recent article related to conflict of interest between the author and drug manufacturers.

The Third Gilmore Girl by Kelly Bishop

I was an original Gilmore Girls fan—it was on when I was in high school, and my best friend and I binged each new season when it came out on DVD. Emily Gilmore was one of those characters you love to hate but who over the course of the show becomes someone you understand and love in her own right. The first half to two-thirds of the book were fine. I had no idea she was in A Chorus Line or her other work before Gilmore Girls. But toward the end of the book, things took a wild turn. I won’t spoil anything, but I will say that I have found many celebrity memoirs especially end with descriptions of the author’s spiritual explorations as they try to make sense of their lives. I found Bishop’s uncomfortable and off-putting, and not just because I am a Christian and she is not. It was just weird, and it ruined the whole book for me.

Famesick by Lena Dunham

This was a recent finish for me, and I only finished it because I was hoping it would redeem itself by the end. This book was not enjoyable at any point. It was sexually graphic almost to the point of being pornographic when she was describing her own sexual experiences. She made a lot of decisions and choices in her twenties that had painful consequences and yet she seemed to be about one step away from seeing how those choices affected other people. It mostly just made me sad. She has serious chronic health issues and I could relate to that given my own experience over the last few years, and I certainly have compassion on her, but this is another case where she is writing while she’s still in her 30s. Not enough time has passed.

Cher: Part One by Cher

Now we move on from memoirs I just didn’t enjoy into the realm of memoirs that made me wonder if I, along with Amy Griffin, was taking psychedelic drugs when reading them. Cher’s memoir kept me listening because it was just one crazy story after another, but I was also so glad when it was over. Parts of her story are fascinating, especially describing how she and Sonny became famous. But she talks about a lot of things that make you want to stop and say, “Wait, what?” and she just keeps going. The part of this book that I still think about sometimes is how she frequently criticizes her mother for neglecting her as a child, but then she also describes all the times she left Charity/Chaz with someone else while she was performing/touring/traveling. The disconnect was jarring. If you are a music person, you’ll probably enjoy this for all the name drops, but otherwise, I’d skip it. I don’t think I’ll be continuing when part 2 comes out.

Will by Will Smith

On the Amazon page for this book, Oprah says this is the best memoir she has ever read. Oprah appears to be a big reader, and so her endorsement makes me wonder if she focuses on other genres and that this was the first memoir she has ever read. The only thing this memoir has going for it is that Will Smith narrates it and I like his voice. While it has plenty of interesting anecdotes, what I took away from this memoir was that Will Smith does not seem like a very nice person, and he is either not aware of it due to an extreme lack of emotional intelligence, or he knows he is not a nice person and doesn’t care, because he makes a lot of money and is very famous.

Making It So: A Memoir by Patrick Stewart

This book could have passed my good memoir test if it weren’t for Stewart’s chronic infidelity and his inability to acknowledge how his unfaithfulness in his romantic relationships impacted other people. He comes across as remarkably humble when describing his acting career and his experiences with other celebrities, and he does express regret over some of his infidelity. But overall he comes across as someone who hasn’t examined his own choices over the years, despite being 86 years old. (I do love his voice, though.)

Greenlights by Matthew McConaughey

I have saved my least favorite memoir of all time for last, because I disliked it so much. I didn’t just not enjoy this book. I hate-listened to it.

I expected to enjoy it. I had no reason going into it to have any negative opinion of Matthew McConaughey. Of course, all I knew of him were characters he had played in movies, and so I guess I shouldn’t have assumed I actually knew him as a person, but I didn’t expect him to come across as possibly crazy. Here are a few quotes from the book…

The arrow doesn’t seek the target, the target draws the arrow. We must be aware of what we attract in life because it is no accident or coincidence. The spider waits in his web for dinner to come. Yes, we must choose what we want, seek it out, cast our lines in the water, but sometimes we don’t need to make things happen. Our souls are infinitely magnetic.

This is a belief known as the law of attraction. Essentially, it says that you attract whatever you put out. So if you are being a nice or good person, you will attract goodness into your life. If you are trying to be successful and making good choices, success will find you. Now, here’s the thing: this is probably a way to interpret the life of most famous actors and actresses who weren’t nepo-babies — they stumbled into success. But for the rest of us, and even for these celebrities, if they’re honest, the truth is that’s not how life really works. We all know times when we have done all the right things, and it has not made life easier.

Sometimes which choice you make is not as important as making a choice and committing to it.

This is truly terrible advice. I’m imagining telling my newly driving teenager that it doesn’t matter which choice he makes when he’s driving; he just needs to commit to it. Actually, never mind—please NEVER do that while driving. Also don’t do it when choosing a spouse or deciding whether or not to commit a crime.

Catching greenlights is about skill: intent, context, consideration, endurance, anticipation, resilience, speed, and discipline. We can catch more greenlights by simply identifying where the red lights are in our life, and then change course to hit fewer of them.

What are we talking about, Matthew? This is self-help nonsense at its finest. Many people do not have the luxury of not only identifying their red lights but also changing course. I think of people who are living with chronic pain, or who have experienced great loss, or who have a child who is disabled. Sometimes the red lights, whatever those even are, are unavoidable. I also don’t really know what a greenlight is. This is not helpful to anyone.

I would love to know if you have read any of these memoirs and liked them more than I did, and if so, what redeemed them for you. Also, do you have any other thoughts on what makes a good memoir?

One day soon I’ll be writing about memoirs I absolutely loved, so stay tuned.

I have tried many times in the past few years to give up Amazon. I want to shop local, and I don’t want to fund Jeff Bezos’ space missions, but we live 20 minutes from the nearest store, and sometimes things are out of stock. Here are 20 things I’ve bought on Amazon since the beginning of this year that I’d recommend.

Here are my 60 great Amazon finds of 2025—there are a few repeats on this year’s list!

Personalized Name Stickers

With two kids in elementary school, having name labels on things is key to keeping track of stuff. I got a set of these for both Zoe and Noah, and they have so far stuck to everything: lunch boxes, backpacks, folders, pencil boxes, and water bottles. There are enough themes to satisfy most kids.

Quilted Lunch Box

Zoe picked this lunch box out for this year and it’s super cute. While it does get dirtier easier than a vinyl lunch box, it’s gone through the washing machine just fine.

18” Khaki Skirt with Pockets

Our kids wear uniforms to school, and Zoe has now moved into adult sizes because she is a giant. Finding uniform bottoms that are school-approved and that she likes can be tough, because she is very particular about how things feel. We ordered a bunch of different options and settled on these. I love that they have a longer length!

Kid Memory Foam Shoe Insoles

I don’t like to spend a ton of money on shoes for little kids because they outgrow them so quickly, but the downside of cheap shoes is that they wear out quickly. I have found that the insoles are usually the first to go. I bought a pack of these for Noah and not only are his shoes more comfortable (according to him), but this purchase extended the shoes’ use by months.

USB-C Fast Chargers

We now have many of these around our house in different colors. We have finally entered charging utopia, otherwise known as all of our devices (phones, kindles, headphones, etc.) using USB-C charging cables. I got one color for me and Christian and one for the little kids so it is obvious who stole my charger from next to my bed.

Fast USB-C/USC Car Charger

This car charger is lightning fast and still has an option for a USB input, which is helpful for long car trips.

Solar Power Bank

We bought this for Cohen before a long campout this summer, and I’ve borrowed it several times. I haven’t found the solar panel to be super effective in charging it, but if you charge it ahead of time, it can charge devices for several days.

Wired Kid Headphones

We’ve now gone through several of these (most recently because I stepped on one), but they have held up through a 6-year-old who is very rough on them.

Fridge/Freezer Temp Sensor

I bought these for our band booster program to keep in the fridge and freezer in our concession stand (one of our main fundraisers). A few years ago the band boosters lost all the food in the fridge and freezer due to a power outage. We’re about to enter hurricane season, so we decided to invest in a sensor so that we would be alerted if the power goes out and we could attempt to save some of the food. You can put multiple users on one account and add as many probes as you need.

Six Star Protein Powder

This is my new favorite protein powder. The price point is great, and we have enjoyed both the chocolate and vanilla flavors.

Olive Oil Sprayer

I recently broke our sprayer and my husband asked if we could get another one. We enjoy using it to spray pans and other foods in order to add a bit of olive oil without overdoing it.

Indoor Plant Stand

We bought two of these to display our numerous indoor plants, and I have lost track of how many compliments we’ve gotten. They include lights attached to a timer.

Hair Clips

Both Zoe and I have terribly thick hair. We split up this pack of hair clips and have found them to be great at keeping our hair up in the oppressive heat this summer.

Flat Iron

I hadn’t used a flat iron in a while, but with a shorter haircut have begun styling my hair more. This was super cheap, charges in about 1 minute, and works great.

Dry Shampoo Powder

This will probably make my list for the rest of my life. I now steer clear of aerosol dry shampoos, and honestly, this powder works better than any of the spray kinds I’ve tried. One container usually lasts me about six months.

Earring Organizer

I bought this for Zoe in an attempt to keep her from losing all of her earrings. Putting them back in tiny holes was proving to be a huge barrier to her keeping track of them. This one just has pockets and has rooms for tons of earrings!

Faux Leather Purse

I was looking for a small purse with a strap that I could use for outings. I have a shoulder bag, but I wanted something I could dress up or dress down. There’s nothing exciting about this purse, but it has just enough space for my wallet, phone, and a few other things, and it goes with just about anything.

Sunglasses

I am a chronic loser of sunglasses and thankfully don’t need prescription sunglasses, so my method is to buy a cheap pack each summer and try to keep track of them. Of the three of these, I know where two pairs are, so it has worked pretty well.

Laptop Bag

I needed a bigger bag for my laptop that could hold more than just my laptop. This is almost like a briefcase. I love the multiple pockets and the strap on it is really comfortable.

Propolis

I wanted to buy a game for our family vacation, and this one turned out to be a little too complicated for our little kids. It has a solo option, though, and I’ve really enjoyed it once I figured out the rules. My favorite part is that the tiny wooden bee pieces are called Beeples.

As always, thank you for reading. Due to some changes in work and family rhythms, I’m thrilled to be back and able to write more regularly. Stay tuned for more book posts soon!

Step 1: Make an awesome invitation and text and email it to everyone your husband has ever known.

You secured a venue for the party, so now it’s time to invite people to come.

Once you begin this step, you will realize that your husband knows a lot of people and some of the most meaningful people in his life are people who are extremely offline and you have no contact info for. This will require a good bit of texting people you do have contact info for to get numbers for those other people.

Almost no one will RSVP at first, and there are many people out of town who can’t come. You anticipated this, so you ask out of town friends to film a short birthday message. Throwing a surprise party is easy!

Step 2: Remember you don’t have video editing skills.

Almost no one sends videos right away, which is fine, because you don’t know how to make a bunch of videos into one long video. You’ll ask one of your husband’s best friends to help, and he will agree. He’ll say he needs the videos by about two weeks before the party, so you’ll set a reminder to stop collecting videos on July 15th.

Step 3: Find a way to make sure your husband doesn’t plan anything for the night of the party.

You have a very busy life and an especially busy summer. You check in with one of his best friends (the same one making the video), who said he’d be able to come down for the party. This is where the lying begins. Video friend tells your husband he will be traveling through town at the beginning of August and needs a place to crash. This is plausible because he lives in northern Georgia and his wife has family in Florida. Your husband mentions this to you and puts it on the calendar.

Step 4: Spend many weeks not doing anything for the party.

It is now about two months until the party. You’ve sent all the invitations and reminded people about the videos but there is still a lot of time. Also, summer has begun and you’re going to be out of town or on vacation/staycation for seven straight weeks.

Step 5: Reach one month until the party and realize half the people haven’t RSVP’d and almost no one has sent videos.

The spreadsheet you made to track who is coming is a complete mess. Many people said they’d send videos, but only one person has. Video friend needs the videos in two weeks.

Step 6: Spend a week frantically checking for RSVPs and asking people from out of town to make videos.

You write a form text/email/message and go down your spreadsheet of out-of-town friends, texting everyone and giving them a deadline of July 15. You try to start asking local friends if they’re actually coming and get a lot of “maybes.”

Step 7: Have a meltdown a few minutes before a friend texts to ask how you’re doing, and then humbly accept this friend’s offer to help.

It’s now three weeks until the party. After realizing you are having a meltdown, your friend Anna tells you to come over and you sit at a table, her with notebook and pen, while you dictate your ideas for the party and what needs to be done and she asks clarifying questions. Anna is now your party planner. By the end of the afternoon, Anna has offered to go through the list of everyone who hasn’t RSVP’d and text them, make 100 red velvet cupcakes with her mom, enlist her sister to help paint a banner, calculate the amount of food needed, and send you reminders until the party about what you need to do (mostly, keep collecting videos). You now owe a life-debt to Anna. Anna is Han Solo and you are Chewbacca.

Step 8: Spend all your spare time when your husband won’t get suspicious hounding people for videos.

Thankfully, the weekend after the meltdown, your husband is going out of town. While you and the kids watch a movie you contact many of the same people again and tell them you need the videos in five days.

People finally start sending videos. Suddenly the videos are coming what feels like constantly and you have to make sure you don’t leave your phone near your husband where he’ll see a text coming through from a guy he went to seminary with that contains a video. Video friend begins to put the video together.

Step 9: Concoct an elaborate plan to get husband to the party venue without being suspicious.

One good thing about your crazy summer is you have been so busy there is no way your husband will think you have had time to throw him a surprise party with 100+ people, which is how many people have RSVP’d. This is actually true—Anna has now almost completely taken over the party planning. Basically, Anna is throwing your husband a surprise party and you are one of the guests who happens to be married to him.

One thing people have been asking when they have found out your plan is how you are going to get your husband to the venue without him knowing. Initially, you considered just blindfolding him and driving him there, but over the course of the week leading up to the party, a somewhat plausible idea unfolds that is going to require you to lie to your husband approximately 20 times but that might keep him in the dark until he walks in.

The party is going to be held at a large church, in their chapel, which is kind of like a fellowship hall. It’s 20 minutes from your house. You start by making sure that your mother-in-law and sister-in-law can go help Anna set up for the party she is throwing. You then schedule a meeting with a marching band mom friend not far from the church. You want to be able to go there to help set up without your husband wondering why you’re in the area. You also ask your mother-in-law to come get your two younger kids before they go set up, but to tell your husband that she’s taking them out for the rest of the day through dinner.

You have now established yourself and two kids at the venue without him getting suspicious.

Video friend, whose name is Marshall, has now found out he can’t come. You tell him not to tell your husband yet. Guests are arriving for the party at 5, and your husband thinks Marshall is arriving in town around 3. You tell Marshall to keep up that facade until the morning of the party. You tell your husband your plan is to pick up pizza for dinner on your way home from your band meeting.

The morning of the party, at your instruction, Marshall says he’s actually running late and won’t be in town until more like 5:15, so could he take us all out for Christian’s birthday at a restaurant? Your husband asks you about this and you say, sure, you can meet them for dinner nearby after your meeting. Your husband says he’ll ask Marshall what his kids like to eat.

You quickly run and text Marshall and tell him to tell your husband his kids like Mexican.

Within 5 minutes, your husband has suggested you eat at a Mexican restaurant a few blocks from the church, which is exactly what you wanted him to do, so that he will be close enough that it’s not weird to ask him to pick you up at the church, which you’ll be asking him to do later.

Now that you have a plan to get your husband and two older sons to the correct area, you have to actually get him to the church.

You ask your band mom friend to pick you up. You tell your husband you are going to pick up spirit wear shirts band parents ordered, and then you and band mom friend are going to go through them and organize them with another friend. You don’t tell him where you’ll be exactly, but you ask if he can just pick you up on the way to dinner.

You are wanting him to pick you up at 5:15, because as the afternoon wears on, Marshall is going to say he’s not going to be at the restaurant until closer to 5:30.

You do have your meeting with your friend, and then she drops you off at the church. When your husband asks where to pick you up, you tell him you all went to a big room at the church because another band mom friend who he knows goes to the church and said you could use it to organize all the band shirts.

When you go inside the chapel, Anna is executing the set-up like a conductor. You change clothes. Guests begin to arrive.

You told your oldest son not to leave the house until 4:55, since you want guests to have time to arrive. At 4:40, he texts you, worried, because for the first time in his life your husband has decided to be somewhere early. You tell him to stall however he can until 4:55.

At about 4:50, your husband texts you that Marshall won’t be at the restaurant until 5:30, and that that’s good, because as he was putting his shoes on, your oldest son decided he had to poop. You die laughing. Your oldest son tells you later he just sat on his phone in the bathroom for ten minutes and he feels terrible about it because he is an empath. You congratulate him on his lie.

Everything is ready. The guests have arrived. Your boys are texting you updates as they get closer. About ten minutes before they get there, you text all three of them and say that when they get there, you’ll need them to come inside the chapel to help carry boxes of shirts out to the car.

At this point, you feel like your husband must know something is up. You tell yourself that even if it’s not a complete surprise, he will still be shocked to see 100 people waiting for him, including several out-of-town friends.

You see the van pull up and park. The lights in the chapel are off, and everyone is quiet.

The boys and your husband get out of the car. Another party guest has just arrived and is panicked to see he has arrived at the same time. He plays it very cool and walks up to the chapel door, with your husband, present in hand, saying he’s there “to see a family member.” Your husband is just happy to see his friend.

One of your boys opens the door and walks in, and your husband’s friend follows him with his present, looking crestfallen that he has ruined the surprise. Then your husband starts to walk in, the lights turn on, and “Rocky Top” plays over the speakers.

Step 10: Have the party!

Your husband is completely surprised. He says that he had absolutely no idea. You saw him look shocked before he walked in the door, when the room was dark, and you ask what he was thinking. You assume he figured it out due to seeing his friend with a present. He said he didn’t think it was weird that his friend was there at the same time, and he looked surprised because thought that there was a meeting going on (in the dark?) and he didn’t want to disturb it.

You are glad your husband thinks meetings with the lights off are normal. You are so glad your husband is so trusting. You apologize for all the lying.

Everyone eats tacos, you lead a trivia quiz on Christian Crouch lore, cupcakes are eaten, and everyone sits and watches the video Marshall made. You cry even though you’ve watched it two times already. Your husband is so loved. You are so proud to be married to him, even if he would make a very bad detective. Every frantic text, every sleepless night, every logistic you had to figure out—they were all worth it.

The party ends, and many guests graciously stay to help clean up.

You vow to never throw another surprise party. When your husband turns 50, you will just ask Anna to throw one. You are tired.

When I turned 30, my husband took me out to a nice dinner and gave me a folder that included more than 30 emails or letters he had collected from people in my life. They wrote about how much they cared about me, they reminded me about ways I had been a blessing to them, and they shared encouragement about growing older. It was a precious gift not just for the sentiments expressed in the letters, but also because I knew my husband had been planning it for months.

I wanted to do something special for Christian turning 40, and I decided on a surprise party, and from them on, it just grew into something bigger than I anticipated. And yet because Christian loves people so much, and he is so faithful and loyal to old and new friends, I knew the best gift I could give him was the presence of at least some of those people, and encouraging messages from the ones who couldn’t come.

By the grace of God, I managed to pull it off—well, Anna and I and many other people pulled it off. I hope you find my guide to doing this helpful.

The last time I worked on a post, it was the end of June and I was writing from a cozy library in Cape May, New Jersey, while on my yearly beach trip with my mom and sister. I felt removed from the real world, which was a welcome respite after the busy weeks before.

Then I came home and life met me like a freight train.

On July 15th, my Substack and pastor’s wife friend Jill texted me: "Hey there? Just checking in. Haven’t seen your writing in a while and miss it!

This seriously such a kind text and kind of made my whole month. It also served to remind me that I had basically abandoned not only Substack but also my entire reading life.

I finished 5 books in the first 6 days of July, during which I was mostly at the beach. The first Monday of normal life was July 6th, and I finished a book that day, and only finished three books since then. Three books. I know no one cares how many books I read, but I have felt my mental health deteriorating without my normal diet of books.

I told Christian today, the last day of July, that I hadn’t finished an audiobook since July 6th, and he was truly shocked. It had been so long that when I tried to start an audiobook earlier this week, I almost had to force myself. My brain was struggling to get back in the habit. Thankfully, I have pressed on and am almost done with that one, although not in time to count it for July.

The reasons for my lack of reading have been diverse. The first week back from the beach, I was catching up on work. Then Christian left town for the weekend and I was solo parenting. I also was able to get back to playing the piano at church, which meant time practicing each week. Then there was two weeks of band camp, a visit to Flannery O’Connor’s hometown with out-of-town friends, a mission trip to South Carolina, and all the back to school preparation. Not to mention my new role as president of the band boosters for the high school marching band of 160 students—this role has required hours of work this summer to prepare for the school year to start.

ALSO, I have been planning a surprise 40th birthday for my husband for the last three months, and it’s taking place August 1st (which will have passed by the time you read this). There are more than 100 people who have RSVP’d, so it turned into a small wedding reception.

All that to say, there hasn’t been a lot of time to sit and read physical books and my brain has been too overwhelmed to listen to an audiobook while doing other things. I have been stressed and overwhelmed while also trying not to appear stressed and overwhelmed so that my husband wouldn’t suspect I was planning the party.1

I very much put too many things on my plate. I don’t want to try to do so many things at once again.

This month I just divided my reading into the three categories: fiction, spiritual, and nonfiction. I read almost all the fiction books while at the beach, which I consider a very good place to read fiction.

Golden Girl by Elin Hilderbrand

I always try to read one of this author’s books at the beach. Her books almost all take place in Nantucket, and where we go in New Jersey has some similar vibes. This one was a little different than her other books in that there was a slight supernatural element. The main character of the book, so to speak, is killed accidentally at the very beginning (this is not a spoiler). The rest of the book is about the aftermath of her death and how her feeling responds, as she watches them from “heaven” with the opportunity to make three small nudges to change the course of events. It might sound cheesy, but it really wasn’t. I even laughed out loud a few times.

Olive Kitteridge by Elizabeth Strout

I have realized I truly love Strout’s writing style, and I’m slowly going to make my way through her entire collection. Her writing is smart and funny and while I recognize that it might not be for everyone, it scratches all my book itches. While the book is mostly about the title character, it’s really about the whole community where she lives. She is a prickly person, but by the end of the book, you kind of love her.

This is Happiness by Niall Williams

This book was a slow burn. I would not call it plot-heavy and I would not call it fast-paced. It is meant to be savored slowly, and that is what I tried to do at the beach. The premise of the story is that the narrator is telling a story about his teenage years when electricity first came to his small Irish village. There are colorful characters, an epic saga of a love story, and a hilarious attempt by the narrator to get the attention of a teenage girl.

Burn by Peter Heller

I have read several of Heller’s books and saw this one had some post-apocalyptic vibes, which longtime readers will know is one of my favorite premises. This is the story of two men who find themselves living at what feels like the end of the world. They have been on a hunting trip and attempt to come back to civilization only to find things are very different than when they life. The book is their journey to try to get home as well as figure out what the heck is going on. It is a story about friendship and about grief with some incredibly tense and disturbing scenes.

You Are Still a Mother: Hope for Women Grieving a Stillbirth or Miscarriage by Jackie Gibson

I might have picked this book off the bookshelf because it was short and I knew I was not going to get a lot of books read this month. In any case, it is a book I have wanted to read for a long time. I have never suffered a miscarriage or a stillbirth, but I have many dear friends who have. I appreciated the honest and vulnerable way the author wrote about her late-term miscarriage and how it affected her and her husband. This book would be a blessing, with the right timing, to give someone who has suffered this kind of loss. I also think anyone who is in community with other people should read it!

The Stories We Tell: How TV and Movies Long for and Echo the Truth by Mike Cosper

This book is about 12 years old and felt pretty dated with the movie and TV references, but they were almost all things that I had watched. It was especially interesting to read the chapter on The Wire, because Christian and I just finished watching that at the beginning of the summer. If you are a movie or TV buff, I think you’ll enjoy this book.

The Trinity: An Introduction by Scott Swain

We read through this book as part of a Sunday morning class at church. I missed most of the discussion, but caught up while on my trips and was able to join in for the last few weeks. This is a dense read, but it is not inaccessible to the average person. It is certainly not a book to rush through. That said, I highly recommend it as an incredible book on the Trinity.

The Tech Exit: A Practical Guide to Freeing Kids and Teens from Smartphones by Clare Morell

This book was in so many ways a breath of fresh air. It was good to know we’re not the only parents who are struggling to figure out how to handle phones and screentime. A little background: Our older boys didn’t get phones until they were entering 8th/9th grade—they got phones at the same time. They were among the last of their friends to get phones. I felt like we held off as long as we could. We have no plans to get our younger kids phones any sooner. Our younger kids do have Kindles, though, and managing screen time sometimes feels like a neverending battle. This evidence-based book gives stories and examples from other parents who are in the same boat and acknowledges the way our current digital climate has made avoiding screens extremely hard. I came away wanting my husband to read it so we can make some changes to how we approach screens in our home.

I’m still working through the four books I’ve been working on for months, but I’ve also got one book in each category coming with me into August.

• 52 Weeks in the Word: A Companion for Reading Through the Bible in a Year by Trillia Newbell—part of my (mostly) daily Bible reading

• 1 Samuel: Looking on the Heart by Dale Ralph Davis—reading a chapter as my husband and I work through the book of 1 Samuel together

• How to Read a Book: The Classic Guide to Intelligent Reading by Mortimer J. Adler and Charles Van Doren—a book I have been trying to finish for almost a year

• North, or Be Eaten! by Andrew Peterson—book 2 of The Wingfeather Saga! I’m reading this aloud to my kids (ages 9 and 6) several nights a week. There are 60+ chapters and we only read 2-3 chapters a night, which means it might take us all summer to finish.

• The Family Man: Blood and Betrayal in the House of Murdaugh by James Lasdun—I’ve already read a detailed account of the murder of Alex Murdaugh’s wife and son and the investigations, but this book looks more at the aftermath of the murders and Alex Murdaugh’s other considerable financial crimes. I’m eager to write more when I recap next month’s reads.

• A Big Gospel in Small Places: Why Ministry in Forgotten Communities Matters by Stephen Witmer—We very much live in a “small place” so I grabbed this off Christian’s church bookshelf to read on my own.

• The Dog Stars by Peter Heller—This has been my re-entry back into audiobooks. Imagine my surprise a week ago when we saw The Odyssey and there was a trailer for the movie version of the book. I’m excited to see it!

I really hope that I read more than 8 books in August. I also hope to post more than once in August—I have a long post about book series that I have been working on for literally months. Until then, I’d love to know what you’re reading, and I’m so glad to be back!

Hello, friends. It’s been a long time. June has been an absolutely insane month. I counted last night and I was out of town or away from home for almost half of the month. Five out of town trips and a beach day, plus prepping for and recovering from all those trips, plus keeping my house running when I was home, plus my job meant that Substack got the short end of the stick.

Thankfully, though, my reading life continued and was even better than last month (in terms of books read). This month, I read several books that will probably make it onto my end-of-the-year list across several categories. There were also several books that would make it into a “worst books of the year” list, were I to make one.

Every month I choose my top book in each category—fiction, nonfiction, and spiritual—because I usually read at least a few books in each category. This month had multiple contenders in fiction and spiritual, but these came out on top.

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith

It probably shouldn’t have come as a surprise that my favorite fiction book this month was not written within this century but rather more than 80 years ago. While the world wasn’t any less sinful 80 years ago, what was accepted in literature was much more restricted, which meant authors had to rely on something other than sex in order to attract readers. This book tugged every heartstring I had, and when I finished I felt like I too had grown up in the Nolan family. This will end up being one of my favorite books of the year.

The Pardon: The Politics of Presidential Mercy by Jeffrey Toobin

This is the fifth book I’ve read by Toobin, and I have loved every single one. I knew very little about Watergate and the end of Nixon’s presidency going into this book. About half the book covers Gerald Ford’s pardon of Nixon, and the rest of the book traces how pardons have been used by presidents up until the present day. It might not seem like it would be that interesting, but I found it fascinating.

Stay Salt by Rebecca Manley Pippert

This is a follow-up to Pippert’s book Out of the Salt Shaker and Into the World: Evangelism as a Way of Life, published in 1979. This is the best book on evangelism that I have ever read. I can’t commend it highly enough.

The fact that I had three five-star fiction reads this month was incredible.

Kakigori Summer by Emily Itami

I borrowed this audiobook on a whim and I am so glad I did. The description said it was for fans of Hello, Beautiful and The Blue Sisters, two books I loved, so I felt like I would probably like this one. It is a book about three sisters who are half-Japanese, half-British. The youngest sister is the star of a popular Japanese musical group, but when she finds herself in the spotlight for bad reasons, her two older sisters come and take her to their hometown, a remote coastal village. This is not a thriller or a fast-moving book. It’s just about three sisters and their relationships with each other. I finished it up while I was at the beach myself and it was the perfect setting for this book.

The Things We Never Say by Elizabeth Strout

This was my first Elizabeth Strout book, but it won’t be my last. This is her newest book, and the premise of a teacher who is questioning his purpose in life was interesting to me. I loved this book because the people in it act like real people. They are conflicted and make poor choices and don’t always impute the best motives to others. Most of all, the main character in this book reminded me of some of my favorite high school teachers who had a profound impact on me.

Making Sense of Forgiveness: Moving From Hurt Toward Hope by Brad Hambrick

Until I read this book, I would have said the best book on forgiveness I’ve ever read was Unpacking Forgiveness: Biblical Answers for Complex Questions and Deep Wounds by Chris Braun. However, Brad Hambrick has won out over that book because this book is shorter and more concise. I still love Unpacking Forgiveness, but as a book to recommend to others, I’d choose this one. This book explains forgiveness from a biblical perspective and offers hope for those who have been hurt by others.

Another good fiction book! What is happening?

• A Painted House by John Grisham

• The Feather Detective: Mystery, Mayhem, and the Magnificent Life of Roxie Laybourne by Chris Sweeney

• Love the Ones Who Drive You Crazy: Eight Truths for Pursuing Unity in Your Church by Jamie Dunlop

Don’t worry, though—I also read several fiction books that left a bad taste in my mouth. These are books that I didn’t enjoy, but you might.

Kin by Tayari Jones

It truly feels to me like the newest popular fiction books all abide by some sort of unwritten code that says they must include at least a subplot about abortion and/or a homosexual relationship. Writers have the right to write about whatever they want, but it almost seems like they think that have to include these situations in order to show that they are in line with whatever is seen as the most accepting, progressive view. What bothers me is when it doesn’t add anything to the story, which is how I felt about this book. The book was well-written, so your mileage may vary.

The Midnight Feast by Lucy Foley

For my yearly beach trip, I always choose a book from the library that I plan to finish in one binge-reading session on the beach. I recognized the author’s name and checked this one out for this year’s trip. These books are never elevated literature and I never expect them to be. However, this one was entirely too contrived and also seemed to assume readers were complete idiots. For example, let’s say there is a scene where character Jim sees character Mary eating peanuts, after Mary said she was allergic to peanuts. Jim is confused. Five chapters later Jim sees a packet of peanuts in a room where a crime was committed. The chapter concludes, “All Jim could think about was watching Mary eat those peanuts.” It seems to think we have no memory of anything that has already happened. Also, the characters were obnoxious.

Do Not Become Alarmed by Maile Meloy

This book was better than both of the previous ones, but it’s still only getting three stars because of the sexual content and a borderline marital affair. The idea of a bunch of rich kids getting kidnapped while on a cruise is interesting, and the plot was propulsive. But I could have done without the sex.

Labor: One Woman’s Work by Mary Fariba Afsari

I love a memoir, and having given birth four times myself, I was interested to read this book about an OB/GYN. Unfortunately, it turned out to be pushing an agenda in a way that ruined the book for me. For a book that does have some controversial aspects but I enjoyed much more, see Womb by Leah Hazard.

It is rare that I have two-star books because usually I abandon books that I’m not enjoying.

Ruthless: Scientology, My Son David Miscavige, and Me by Ron Miscavige

You guys know I love books about cults. I probably should have done a little more research before starting this one. The author of this book is the father of the current leader of Scientology and spent 27 years within the organization. He wrote this book only a few years after leaving, and I think that he should have waited to write it until some more time had passed. What was most curious was how he seemed to still espouse Scientology principles even while criticizing the way the organization is currently run. There was also an extreme amount of name-dropping. The best memoirs are written by people who have a high self-awareness, and that is not what I found in this book.

Healing What’s Within: Coming Home to Yourself--and to God--When You’re Wounded, Weary, and Wandering by Chuck DeGroat

About halfway through this book, I knew it would be no more than a three-star read. Three-quarters of the way through, I began to get angry and wasn’t sure if I would even be able to finish it. I did, though, so that I could say with a clean conscience that this is not a book anyone should read. There are some helpful principles, but the incorrect and incomplete truths represented far outweigh any benefit the book might have. It is not a Christian book, despite the mentions of God and Bible verses within its pages.

Avid Reader: A Life by Robert Gottlieb

I saw this on a Kindle deals site and snatched it up because it combines two things I love: memoirs and a book about books.

The Trinity: An Introduction by Scott Swain

Our church is reading through this book together over the summer. I picked it up on Kindle because I’ve been traveling so much I wasn’t able to share the print copy we have at home with my husband and teenagers.

Nerve Damage by Annakeara Stinson

Like many other books I abandon, this one got ditched for all the sexual content in the first chapter. It was so distracting and gratuitous that I wasn’t willing to stick around.

• 52 Weeks in the Word: A Companion for Reading Through the Bible in a Year by Trillia Newbell—part of my (mostly) daily Bible reading

• 1 Samuel: Looking on the Heart by Dale Ralph Davis—reading a chapter as my husband and I work through the book of 1 Samuel together

• How to Read a Book: The Classic Guide to Intelligent Reading by Mortimer J. Adler and Charles Van Doren—a book I have been trying to finish for almost a year

• North, or Be Eaten! by Andrew Peterson—book 2 of The Wingfeather Saga! I’m reading this aloud to my kids (ages 9 and 6) several nights a week. There are 60+ chapters and we only read 2-3 chapters a night, which means it might take us all summer to finish.

• This is Happiness by Niall Williams—I’ve been working on this one for several months, and it just isn’t a book to race through. I hope to finish it in July.

• The Stories We Tell: How TV and Movies Long for and Echo the Truth by Mike Cosper—This is my morning devotional read, although it’s a bit of a stretch for a devotional. I am making a long list of movies I want to watch!

• Olive Kitteridge by Elizabeth Strout—This is my current Kindle fiction read. I purchased this book for $1.99 last year and am excited to read another book by this author!

• Golden Girl by Elin Hilderbrand—I started this on my yearly beach trip and will hopefully have it finished before I return

It feels really good to be back with you again after what has felt like years of writing and thinking about what I’ve been reading. I hope to be back soon with a mammoth post compiling all the book series you all recommended in my post about my favorite book series. See you soon!

Christian had the opposite experience. He watched The Exorcist accidentally as a six-year-old child and that is a pretty good summary of how un-sheltered he was. As a result, when we met, Christian had seen twenty times as many movies as I had.

Something you should know about my husband is that he has the ability to pull something out of his brain at a moment’s notice. Of course, you can only pull out of your brain what is already there, and in addition to multiple foreign languages and an encyclopedic knowledge of the Bible, his brain is full of movie and TV quotes. I did not know this when I met him, though, and so he would say something that was meant to be funny or quirky, and I just thought he had made it up. It wasn’t until he started introducing me to all of his favorite movies that I realized at least half of the things he said on a regular basis were just movie quotes, not things he had come up with. (To be clear, he never claimed to have come up with them; I was just woefully ignorant of the movies he was quoting.)

Thankfully, in the last 20 years, we have created our own compendium of movie and TV quotes that make up a large part of the language of our marriage. If you are a millennial, I hope this is a welcome trip down memory lane.

Homestar Runner / Strong Bad / Teen Girl Squad

Is there a millennial who didn’t spend at least some time at www.HomestarRunner.com during their prime teenage years? We certainly did.

We use the phrase “burnt or dead” to describe plants, food, or any other thing that just looks, well, bad. Other TGS favorite lines include “MSG’d!”, “ARROWED!", and “I have a crush on every boy!”

The the only way Christian and I ever say “good job” to each other is to say, “Good jorb!” and we have now introduced our children to Coach Z, so we never say “good job” to them either. It’s always, always “Good jorb!”

Somehow we took this phrase and then decided to twist other words that have either R-O or O-B in them (or both). For example, if we need help, we will exclaim, “I have a porblem!” A newer one that has popped up recently is, when trying to identify an amount of something, we say appORXimately instead of approximately.

Another language inspiration from Homestar Runner is li’l brudder. When one of our kids is failing at doing something and it’s a little bit pitiful, we will say to each other *NOT TO THE CHILD* “Awww, Li’l Brudder.” When we ourselves are persevering at something and failing, and perhaps should ask for help or give up, our defense is often, “I can make it on my own!”

This one Homestar Runner clip is the source of two of the most-said lines in our marriage. The first line is originally, “I doubt it; I dwove,” which for us morphed over the years into, “I don’t think so; I dwove.” We say this whenever the other person is attempting to correct us on something that is pretty obvious. If the person persists, then the person in the wrong finally admits, “Yeah, yo-uh pwobabwy wight.”

Mac and Me

A funny story about the movie Mac and Me is that I watched it as a child and it terrified me. When my dad would take us to Blockbuster to pick out a movie on Fridays, I would run to the science fiction section, half close my eyes, and turn the cover of the movie around so that I could browse the section without accidentally catching sight of the alien Mac. Here is the movie cover:

I rewatched this with Christian as an adult and discovered it is not terrifying at all. In fact, it’s basically an ET knockoff. The phrase that we took from this movie that has wormed its way into our marriage is from the beginning of the movie when the main character and his family move to a new town.

Now, any time we run into something that is ordinary or even underwhelming, one of us will say, “Pretty nice!”

If you’ve never seen the film, I do want to include a scene from the end just to give you a picture of what we’re working with. Skip ahead to about the two-minute mark and you can see Mac and his family becoming citizens of the United States of America.

Napoleon Dynamite

This movie came out when I was a freshman in college, which meant I found the entire thing absolutely hilarious. It then became part of the lore of my family of origin, and so I spent many years quoting this film before Christian and I even got married. It would be most accurate to quote almost the whole movie for this post, but I will just give you a few key quotes.

Whenever we are talking about something becoming official, the response is, “I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious!” The subtext of this quote is even more hilarious for us because we actually did initially meet by chatting online for several hours each day.

Another common quote we use is, when one of us asks the other one what we want to do or what we are about to do or what our plans are, the response must be: “Whatever I feel like I wanna do, GOSH!”

Elf

A few years ago I saw this film listed as a classic, and it almost sent me to an early grave to learn it was 20 years old. I still remember seeing it in theaters with my best friend when I was in high school, so the math tracks, but… I hate it. This is another film with a plethora of amazing quotes, but here are our favorites.

We say, “Bye, Buddy, hope you find your dad!” at least a quarter of the time when we’re saying goodbye.

We usually say, “Oh, he’s an angry elf!” whenever a small child or toddler nearby is especially distraught, or sometimes, when we witness an adult being particularly unreasonable. (We do not use it to describe people who are genetically small statured, because that would actually be offensive.)

Something about me is that I find certain male comedic actors not funny at all. Men in this category include Jim Carrey, Adam Sandler, and Nicolas Cage. It’s my understanding that a lot of people feel that way about Will Ferrell, but he is the opposite for me. I laugh just looking at him and thinking about funny things he’s done. For that reason, this is one of my favorite movie quotes of all time. Christian and I probably say, “You sit on a throne of lies!” at least once a month.

Arrested Development

I recently told someone that if someone I meet has watched this show, their opinion of it gives me a pretty quick idea of their personality and sense of humor. I have plenty of good friends who don’t like this show. But when I meet someone who loves Arrested Development, there is no doubt in my mind that we will be good friends. The humor is so absurd and understated that it takes a very odd sort of person to find it funny.

We will say, “How much could a banana cost, $10?” any time we get the price of something horribly wrong or when we encounter someone extremely out of touch with reality for middle-class Americans.

I recently tried to explain this quote to two young 20-somethings by describing what a Never-Nude is. I don’t know if they really got it. I guess you had to be there. Any time we are talking about something most people don’t know about or a very niche interest, we will say, “There are dozens of us!”

Here is a clip explaining what a Never-Nude is so that the above clip will make sense.

I couldn’t find a clip of another one of our favorite lines, but in the show, the patriarch of the family is in prison, where he often enjoys ice cream sandwiches. At one point he is talking to his wife on the phone and is going on and on about his ice cream sandwich and she says, “Why don’t you marry the ice cream sandwich?” Christian and I use this on each other whenever the other person is waxing poetic about something or another.

The line “I’ve made a huge mistake!” is a repeated joke in the show that only gets funnier as it goes on. Any time we get in over our heads on something, we say this.

I can’t even really put my finger on the context in which we use the phrase “hot ham water” but it will never not be funny.

At this point, you should probably just watch the first three season of the show. But just in case you decide not to, I will leave you with one of our favorite bits of all time. J. Walter Weatherman and his detachable arm are peak comedy. Whenever we feel like we have learned our lesson or are watching someone else learn a lesson the hard way, we will say, “And that’s why you always leave a note!”

Zoolander

I recently introduced our favorite line from this movie to our oldest son, but he did not find it amusing as I continue to find it decades after I first saw it.

Christian or I will say, “What is this, a school for ants?” any time we see something that is extremely small or smaller than anticipated. Rewatching this clip, I had forgotten that Will Ferrell was even in this movie, which makes it even better.

Old Greg

The two most frequently used lines in our marriage are “Make an assessment” any time the other person is procrastinating on making a decision, and the phrase “love games” also occurs frequently to refer to anything marriage related. We will sometimes sing the whole song to each other.

There are a few other key quotes from Old Greg that are borderline inappropriate but that we use in non-inappropriate ways; however, I will not be sharing those. You can watch the sketch and try to guess.

The Googly-Eyed Gardener

The final cultural artifact that has made its way into the language of our marriage is an underrated SNL skit starring Christopher Walken. Please watch the whole thing.

While out of town for work recently, I ran across this somewhat terrifying monstrosity of a robot vacuum in a grocery store.

I immediately took a picture and texted Christian that I was glad for the googly eyes, because I felt like it helped me know where I stood with the robot vacuum.

I’d love to know if any of these movies or TV shows are part of our marriage or family’s comedic treasure box, or if there is some other media item that has made it into the language of your marriage or other relationships.

For now, though, “Bye, Buddy, hope you find your dad!”

If you have been a reader since the beginning of the year, you know that I set a soft goal of reading 200 books this year. That requires me to read about 17 books a month, a goal I’ve met almost every month this year. This month was the month that just about did me in. I started off strong, but as the month continued I was hit with the convergence of so many life things that my reading took a huge hit. I feel like I was able to get back on track as the month ended, but I still fell far short of my goal.

I spent some time feeling bad about this and tried to tell myself it didn’t matter. There are no book policemen who are going to come and put me in jail for not meeting my goal. Eventually, though, I realized that my sadness wasn’t really about my goal and was instead about the fact that I just hadn’t had much time to read, and I love to read. My brain and soul felt the lack of books I wish I could have read.

It was also just a meh kind of reading month. There were a few books that stood out, but in the fiction category especially I felt like nothing was good.

Unlike other months, it was not easy to pick my books of the month. These three were the best books I read this month, but I doubt any of them will make it onto my top books of 2026 lists at the end of the year, unless the rest of the year is just terrible.

Like, Follow, Subscribe: Influencer Kids and the Cost of a Childhood Online by Fortesa Latifi

I follow here on Substack and find her articles fascinating. I was already intrigued by the lives of influencers and their kids, and her book pulls back the curtain even more on the thinking and behavior of these parents. There were some truly horrifying things in this book, like parents who became popular when their first child was a baby deciding to have another baby when the first child gets too old and isn’t bringing in as many views. Not to mention the bribes parents give their kids to be on screen. I thought this book was fascinating!

Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier

I wish it hadn’t taken me so long to read this book. What a ride! I had heard about it for years but had never felt compelled to read it. I got a deal for a Kindle eBook and finally read it this month. I now understand what all of the fuss was about. The way the author let us into the narrator’s mind and let us feel everything she was feeling as the book progresses was fantastic. As you will see, I had a very lame month in fiction as I tried to read newer books. Reading Rebecca made me think I need to focus on reading older fiction and take a break from the modern stuff.

Mental Health and Your Church: A Handbook for Biblical Care by Helen Thorne and Dr. Steve Midgley

I think anyone who is part of a church, especially church leadership, should read this book. While not a page-turner, it provides so much practical help for how to address various mental health issues that are present not just in our larger communities but also in our churches. It assumes rightly that every church has people within its walls who are struggling, and it gives so many wise ideas for how to help them.

After Church Hurt: Healing in the Care of the Good Shepherd by Timothy St. John

My husband bought this for his library and I immediately borrowed it so I could read it. We have experienced church hurt in a variety of scenarios, and so I felt like I was a good test case for how this book would land. The Lord has brought much healing into my life and so I didn’t feel I needed the advice this book offered, but I did order a copy for some friends who are fresh out of a church hurt experience, and they found it helpful. I also appreciated that this book looked at both sides of church hurt—a congregant/member being harmed by those in leadership as well as a pastor being harmed by members or other leaders of the church. We have experienced both, and both are necessary to talk about.

On the Edge of the Dark Sea of Darkness by Andrew Peterson

We finally finished it! I started reading this book aloud to my younger two kids, ages 8 and 5 at the time, in February. It took us three months to finish. It was totally worth it, even on the nights when I was really tired and didn’t feel like reading. I think this is an incredible read-aloud and although we sometimes ran into words or scenarios that were unfamiliar to our youngest, it was a great opportunity to learn new vocabulary. We read anywhere from 1-3 chapters a night (3-10 pages). is also on Substack.

This is Going to Hurt: Secret Diaries of a Young Doctor by Adam Kay

My book friend Nichole recommended this book to me, and it was a great palate cleanser between some long books. The author is British and the end of the book included a long essay on the British healthcare system, which was not relatable to me at all. However, he has some hilarious and horrifying stories of things he experienced when he was a new doctor. Be aware there is a good bit of cursing and some very graphic descriptions of human anatomy.

Traumatized Church: What Paul’s Relationship with the Corinthian Church Teaches Us About Helping Those Who are Hurting by Scot McKnight and Adrienne Gibson

I was intrigued by this book, which just came out. I follow on Substack and am always interested in reading books about church hurt or trauma. This book contains a certain among of speculation about Paul’s life, but I think many pastors especially would find this book encouraging.

The New Perimenopause: An Evidence-Based Guide to Surviving the Zone of Chaos and Feeling Like Yourself Again by Mary Claire Haver

I hope I am at least a decade off from perimenopause, but I thought it wouldn’t hurt to be prepared. There is a lot of interesting science and presentation of evidence-based research in this book, as well as a comprehensive explanation of female hormones. I liked that the author, who is an OB/GYN, explained normal and abnormal symptoms and encouraged women to advocate for themselves. Ultimately, the author says that in order to best prepare for perimenopause, you should focus on four things: exercise, nutrition, sleep, and reducing stress. I don’t know any of my friends my age who aren’t trying to do these four things but who are mostly struggling because most of us are in a very busy season of life.

The Creaking on the Stairs: Finding Faith in God Through Childhood Abuse by Mez McConnell

My husband has been talking about Mez McConnell for years, but this is my first book I’ve read. This is a raw and honest memoir about the abuse the author suffered as a child and how meeting Jesus after being put in prison for a violent crime changed his life. It does not pretend to give any answers for suffering but it does offer hope to those who have suffered in this way.

This whole category depressed me this month. I had been looking forward to both of these fiction books because of reviews I had heard, and both of them let me down. The third book in this category was just fine.

Buckeye by Patrick Ryan

This was sold to me as an incredible fiction book that would purportedly change my life. I found it mediocre, agenda-pushing historical fiction. One of the main subplots involves a homosexual character, and while I think the author’s purpose was to show that life would have been exceedingly more difficult in the 1940s and the ensuing decades than it is now, I found the way it was presented as disingenuous. Furthermore, all the characters in the book, all of whom are white and Baby Boomers or their parents, are extremely open-minded about race, sex, and gender. That didn’t feel realistic at all for a small town in Ohio. Another plot point involves an extramarital affair, and that is a topic that I find very hard to read about due to a situation involving someone we knew many years ago. If I were you, I’d skip this one.

Judge Stone by Viola Davis and James Patterson

This one hooked me from the beginning, but about 2/3rds of the way through, I was so done with it. It also ended up as what felt like an agenda-pushing novel. I don’t want to read a novel that hits me over the head with what it is trying to say. It was far too much telling and not enough showing. The main plot in this book involves an abortion, which is illegal in Alabama, so it is already a tricky subject. Additionally, there is a subplot in the book that never gets resolved. I thought it was going to become a huge part of the end of the book and it was just… never mentioned.

Small Town Jesus: Taking the gospel mission seriously in seemingly unimportant places by Donnie Griggs

There was nothing too much wrong with this book, other than that it was self-published and would have benefited from more editing. While there was plenty of good theology and practical tips, I found sections of it self-congratulatory and other parts leaning too far toward pragmatism in church ministry than I am comfortable with.

How Strange a Season by Megan Mayhew Bergman

This is a book of short stories, and I thought it might help my fiction rut. However, the very first story had more sexual content than I was comfortable with, so I ditched it.

American Fantasy by Emma Straub

I’ve never read anything by Straub but have been curious, and her newest book had an interesting premise in that it took place on a cruise. I knew it fell mostly into the romance genre but was willing to try to branch out. And as usual, I branched out and fell out of the tree. Within the first chapter something happened that completely turned me off.

Evvie Drake Starts Over by Linda Holmes

I tried to read this one years ago and abandoned it, and I don’t know why I decided to try again. This is just not a genre that appeals to me. While I know this book is supposed to be funny and not overly cheesy, in my brain it falls into the “Hallmark movie” of books.

I don’t usually say much about the books in this category because I’ll eventually talk about them when I finish them!

• 52 Weeks in the Word: A Companion for Reading Through the Bible in a Year by Trillia Newbell—part of my (mostly) daily Bible reading

• 1 Samuel: Looking on the Heart by Dale Ralph Davis—reading a chapter as my husband and I work through the book of 1 Samuel together

• How to Read a Book: The Classic Guide to Intelligent Reading by Mortimer J. Adler and Charles Van Doren—a book I have been trying to finish for almost a year

• Kin by Tayari Jones—my current fiction read that I won’t be finishing before the end of the month

• North, or Be Eaten! by Andrew Peterson—book 2 of The Wingfeather Saga! I’m reading this aloud to my kids (ages 9 and 6) several nights a week. There are 60+ chapters and we only read 2-3 chapters a night, which means it might take us all summer to finish

• Healing What’s Within: Coming Home to Yourself--and to God--When You’re Wounded, Weary, and Wandering by Chuck DeGroat—I just bought this for my Kindle and am starting it as my next “spiritual formation” book

May was a disappointing reading month, but summer is coming. We have several trips planned during which I hope to do a good bit of reading. If you have any fiction books you’d recommend that aren’t going to make me throw the book/my phone against the wall, I’m all ears!

I don’t know that I’d call my interest in books about cults an obsession, but it might be. I will almost always read a book if you tell me it involves a cult. I think my interest comes from wanting to understand the thinking behind those who join cults and those who stay in cults as well as how the people who leave cults process their experience. The following books are all ones that I have read. I didn’t love all of them, but I included all of them because they all provide insight into the people who choose to align themselves with extreme beliefs.

American Heiress: The Wild Saga of the Kidnapping, Crimes and Trial of Patty Hearst by Jeffrey Toobin

I love me some Jeffrey Toobin. I’ve read almost all of his recent books, and I’d recommend any of them. I knew very little about Patty Hearst before this book, and by the time I finished, I felt I had an understanding of the circumstances that led to her very unusual predicament.

Starstruck: A Journalist’s Pursuit of a Fugitive Pop Star, Her Diabolical Maestro, and Their Teenage Sex Cult by Christopher McDougall

This book was a ride. I didn’t even read the full title before I started, and I didn’t know that it was going to reveal a story that might possibly be worse than what Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell did, though not to the same scale. This book sucked me in and would not let go. If you can handle the intense (though not graphic) descriptions of what was done to these girls, this is a must-read.

Chaos: Charles Manson, the CIA, and the Secret History of the Sixties by Tom O’Neill

I already wrote about how this book was fine and I didn’t love it. I found the way the writer inserted his personal life into the story extremely annoying. But it did share a lot of interesting details about Charles Manson, the level of CIA involvement in the Manson situation, and other important events of the 1960s.

Don’t Call It a Cult: The Shocking Story of Keith Raniere and the Women of NXIVM by Sarah Berman

This is another lesser-known cult that I hadn’t heard of until I read the book. I honestly don’t want to spoil anything, so all I’ll say is that this was a unique cult in that it wasn’t based on religion or spirituality, like many cults are.

Waco: David Koresh, the Branch Davidians, and A Legacy of Rage by Jeff Guinn

This book looks at Waco on a broader scale, while the book below looks at Koresh specifically and eventually gets to what happened at Waco. As you can see from the cover, the author of this book has also written books about Charles Manson and Jonestown. I have not read either, but it makes me think he’s got a pretty good idea of what makes a cult.

Koresh: The Story of David Koresh and the Tragedy at Waco by Stephan Talty

Hearing about Koresh’s childhood and how he was formed by his experiences made me feel deeply empathetic toward him. I don’t agree with the decisions he made, but I do think reading books like this can make us more aware of what has happened to people to make them seemingly appear completely unhinged.

End of Days: Ruby Ridge, the Apocalypse, and the Unmaking of America by Chris Jennings

This book is kind of about Ruby Ridge, but it brings in a lot of other stuff as it looks at what would cause someone like Randy Weaver to fall into the conspiracy theories and beliefs he held to. For a description of what happened at Ruby Ridge, see the book below. If you want a more macro-level view of the situation, read this one.

Ruby Ridge: The Truth and Tragedy of the Randy Weaver Family by Jess Walter

Long-time readers will have heard me mention this book many times by now. First of all, it is an incredibly work of investigative journalism, one of the best I’ve ever read. Secondly, it tells you everything you could possibly want to know about Ruby Ridge. Jess Walter is one of my favorite authors, and this is a masterpiece.

Death in the Jungle: Murder, Betrayal, and the Lost Dream of Jonestown by Candace Fleming

This wouldn’t be a very good list of cult books if I didn’t include Jonestown, would it? This book goes back and starts with Jim Jones and his upbringing and goes all the way to the present-day through the testimony of one of his children.

Broken Faith: Inside the Word of Faith Fellowship, One of America’s Most Dangerous Cults by Mitch Weiss and Holbrook Mohr

This ranks as one of the most disturbing lesser-known cults. I was not aware of this cult until I read the book, and it did not make me want to investigate further. This book is comprehensive, including testimonies and stories from those who came out of the cult.

Under the Banner of Heaven: A Story of Violent Faith by Jon Krakauer

I listened to this while painting our bonus room so it could turn into our older two sons’ new bedroom, and I basically strained all my neck muscles while hearing about the history of Mormonism and fundamentalist cults within it. If you’ve watched or read any of the stories about FLDS groups, this will let you dive in even more deeply.

A Fever in the Heartland: The Ku Klux Klan’s Plot to Take Over America, and the Woman Who Stopped Them by Timothy Egan

I am not sure if you can call the KKK a cult, but it definitely falls in the destructive groupthink category. This is a somewhat terrifying book when you think about what could have happened if the woman in question did not do what she did. Not for the faint of heart.

Homegrown: Timothy McVeigh and the Rise of Right-Wing Extremism by Jeffrey Toobin

Toobin returns! Did you know that Timothy McVeigh, the Oklahoma City bomber, was present at the scene when the Waco situation was falling apart? That, along with what happened to the Weaver family at Ruby Ridge, helped confirm his own beliefs that ultimately led to his terrible attack on civilians.

Liar’s Circus: A Strange and Terrifying Journey Into the Upside-Down World of Trump’s MAGA Rallies by Carl Hoffman

I am fascinated by the MAGA movement, as you will be able to tell by the number of MAGA-adjacent books on this list. I want to understand it and what compels people to fall into it wholeheartedly. This book specifically looks at the rallies that took place over the past several years and includes many interviews and stories from people he met at these events.

The MAGA Diaries: Life Among the Fanatics, Extremists, and True Believers that Created the Modern Right by Tina Nguyen

This was a recent read that I found pretty interesting. The author grew up in far right circles and stayed in those circles into college and beyond. She even worked for Tucker Carlson. I appreciated at the beginning of the book that she shared how she didn’t want anyone on either side to feel like she was attacking them. It is very much a memoir, with her sharing how her experiences shaped her and how her perspective changed over the years.

The Quiet Damage: QAnon and the Destruction of the American Family by Jesselyn Cook

This is a heartbreaking book about five different people who fell into various conspiracy theories in the wake of the pandemic. It is a compassionate book in which the author doesn’t demonize or villify these people but rather tells the stories of their families as they try to connect with their family member who is isolating themselves more and more.

Trust the Plan: The Rise of QAnon and the Conspiracy That Unhinged America by Will Sommer

I read this book several years ago because I knew more than one actual person who “for real life” (as Bluey would say) believed in QAnon conspiracy theories. I was confounded by it and wanted to understand better what was happening. This book carefully explains how it started and where it was going at the time of publication. (Thankfully, I haven’t heard much about QAnon in a long time.)

Jesus and John Wayne: How White Evangelicals Corrupted a Faith and Fractured a Nation by Kristin Kobes Du Mez

I think everyone should read this book. Even if you don’t agree with all of her conclusions, the way she traces evangelical thought for the last 70 years is fascinating, and you will probably find it hard not to look at the Christian church in America differently when you’re finished reading.

The Kingdom, the Power, and the Glory: American Evangelicals in an Age of Extremism by Tim Alberta

This is my most recommended book for people who want to understand evangelical Christianity at this point in time. The reason this book is my favorite is because the author is a Christian who grew up in evangelical Christianity. He is not afraid to speak the truth and call out all the ways that evangelicals have failed to actually behave in biblical ways, but he also does so out of concern for those who have strayed so far from what Scripture says.

Invisible Rulers: The People Who Turn Lies into Reality by Renee DiResta

This book isn’t so much about cults but rather how various forces have made it really easy for people to fall into groupthink movements. It might make you want to stay off of social media forever and closely monitor how the YouTube algorithm sends you to different videos.

Cults Like Us: Why Doomsday Thinking Drives America by Jane Borden

I’ll be honest: I didn’t love this book because I felt like the author did not accurately represent many of the religious movements she described, particularly Protestantism in general. There is plenty to mock in evangelical Christianity, but I was annoyed at how she made many blanket statements that, in my opinion, implied a lack of curiosity and maybe even a lack of research. That said, the information about cults was interesting.

Need more? Check out my post on 13 Memoirs from People who Escaped High-Control Groups or Families!

Once I started writing out these vignettes, I realized almost all of them were about our oldest son. I had just finished listening to ’s Like, Follow, Subscribe: Influencer Kids and the Cost of a Childhood Online and felt strongly that I needed to ask his consent before sharing any of these stories. I told him they didn’t really make him look bad; they make me look bad, but I didn’t know if he’d be embarrassed if any of his friends came across any of these stories. First, he said, “Well, Mom, no offense, but I don’t think you’re actually an influencer?” I agreed that I am not, but that I still wanted to ask his permission. He said he didn’t care if I shared these stories, so here you go.

I remember coming home from the hospital with our first son, Stephen. I was 23 years old and had babysat and nannied for years, but never for a baby so young. It felt almost illegal that they would let my husband and I leave the hospital with this living being who was completely dependent on us. I gingerly carried him into our tiny duplex for which we paid $400/month in rent, and I held him while Christian brought in all the stuff we had taken to the hospital. Once everything was inside, I wanted to unpack some of the baby items, so I gently laid Stephen on the body pillow that I had used to sleep for the past several months. It was in the middle of our queen-sized bed. I turned to take something out of my suitcase, and when I turned back around, Stephen was gone. Panicked, I ran around to the other side of the bed. He was face down on the bed next to the body pillow. Somehow his two-day old self had managed to squirm to the edge of the body pillow and gravity had down its work.

A couple years later, I had two children: Stephen, who was almost 2, and Cohen, who was 6 months old. My husband was out of town, and it was bath time. My survival routine on nights like that was to bathe the boys together and then hustle them into their room and close the door so the naked toddler wouldn’t escape. Once I had done this, I laid baby Cohen on the changing pad on top of the four-drawer-high dresser, which was positioned next to a wire shelf. I always put Cohen’s diaper on first; although Stephen wasn’t potty trained, he was less likely to pee before I could get the diaper on. I diapered and clothed Cohen and turned around to see that Stephen had pooped on the floor. This was not in and of itself an emergency; by that point I had interacted with a lifetime’s worth of excrement.

The problem was that Stephen was about to touch the poop.

In a split-second decision, I left Cohen on the changing table and ran to snatch Stephen away from the poop.

(I should pause here to say that up to this point, Cohen was mostly a blob. He hadn’t ever tried to roll over, and he was certainly not crawling. If he had ever been mobile in any way, I would never have left him on that changing table.)

I ran to grab Stephen and—eerily reminiscent of the day we brought Stephen home from the hospital—previously immobile baby Cohen managed to scoot himself head first off the edge of the changing table and fall upside down between the shelf and the dresser. He began a slow descent downward until his head hit the hardwood floor.

I don’t remember the sequence of events after I grabbed Cohen out from between the pieces of furniture and held him tight. I must have cleaned up the poop and gotten Stephen taken care of, because I do remember when I finally called the after-hours pediatrician. I said that my 6-month-old had fallen off the edge of the changing table and hit his head on the hardwood floor. He gave me some signs to look for that might indicate something was wrong, but thankfully, Cohen seemed perfectly fine. Before we hung up, the doctor helpfully noted that, in the future, I should be sure not to leave my baby unattended on the changing table.

About a year later, I had decided that the family memory we needed to make was to see the annual Christmas lights at the local zoo. I was sure the boys, now 2 and 3, would love it, and for the days leading up to the outing, Stephen couldn’t have been more excited.

The day finally came, but as we waited for Christian to get home so we could eat dinner and go, Stephen became less excited. He suddenly said he didn’t want to go. I didn’t know what the problem was, but I desperately wanted to make this memory with them. I just knew they would love it.

When Christian got home and heard Stephen’s pushback against the zoo trip, he said he thought maybe we should stay home. No, I said, We are going to make a family memory! And so we loaded the kids in the car and started driving to the zoo.

Stephen’s protestations continued. They reached a fever pitch as we approached the zoo, and Christian made an executive decision to turn around and go home. I was disappointed but agreed it was probably the best choice as carting a whining three year old around didn’t seem like it would be very fun. We drove home and unbuckled the boys. Stephen was pitiful, and so I carried all 40 pounds of him inside, his legs wrapped around me and his head on my shoulder. As I stepped over the threshold, he lifted his head, looked right at me, and vomited all over my upper body.

Just a few months later, after Stephen turned 3 and Cohen was almost 2, we were working on potty training. We had started potty training Stephen a few months before, and he was doing a great job staying dry and wearing underwear all day long. There was just one problem: poop.

The good news was that Stephen would not poop in his underwear. The bad news was that he saved his poop for nap time, when I was still putting him in a pull-up. I was really tired of cleaning him up when I was still also changing his brother’s diapers all day long. Finally, I decided the only thing to do was stop using pull-ups so he would poop in the potty.

The first day we tried, I placed our blue Baby Bjorn potty in his room on the floor on a large beach towel (the floors were hardwood; this was the same house where Cohen fell off the changing table). I told him if he needed to poop, he should sit on the potty, which he had peed in a hundred times, and then he should call for me.

When I came back after his nap, he had fallen asleep and pooped in his underwear. No big deal! It was only the first day. We’ll try again tomorrow, I told myself.

The next day, I reiterated the instructions. He pooped in his underwear again.

It was time to regroup.

On the third day, I put him down for his nap totally naked from the waist down; no underwear at all. I hoped the fact that he didn’t have anywhere to “go” might psychologically compel him to poop in the potty.

It worked—kind of. He didn’t poop in the bed.

He also didn’t poop in the potty. Instead, he left a circle of small turds around the Baby Bjorn potty.

This told me that he was able to control his poop, although I didn’t understand why he couldn’t have just sat on the potty. I talked to him again.

The ritualistic poop circle continued the next day. Now I was really starting to get frustrated.

At that age, Stephen’s main obsession was superheroes, specifically the superheroes from the show Superhero Squad. He had several of the figurines, but there were a few he didn’t have. That week I picked up a set of two more figurines at Target and told Stephen if he pooped in the potty, he would get the superheros as a reward.

He continued to poop on the floor and/or in his bed. I was washing his sheets almost every day.

It appeared positive reinforcement wasn’t working, so I switched to negative reinforcement. Instead of giving him the superheroes as a reward, I would take away all of his superhero toys and put them in the closet if he pooped anywhere but the potty.

I felt like this was going to be the key to getting him to poop in the potty. I was proud of myself for figuring out what would work. He was distraught when I removed all of his favorite toys, but I just knew it would be worth it.

The next day, I cautiously opened the door to his room at the end of nap time.1 He was starting to stir but still asleep. I looked around the potty. No poop circle. I got my hopes up and looked in the potty. No poop there, either.

I pulled back the covers, expecting to find poop as I had for the past several days. No poop there, either. So he hadn’t pooped. Well, I thought, at least I don’t have to clean the sheets.

He woke up and got out of bed, and then I smelled something. I gingerly moved his stuffed animals and blankets out of his little toddler bed. I picked up his pillow and—there it was. The poop.

He had pooped at the head of his bed, covered it with his pillow, laid on the pillow, and fallen asleep. As one does.2

Time would fail me if I told the story of when Stephen fractured his wrist and we told him to suck it up for several days before realizing it might be broken and ended up taking him to the doctor; or the story of when I burned Zoe’s ear with a curling iron before my cousin’s wedding; or the story of when I left Zoe and Noah in the (running) car while I ran inside Little Caesar’s to get pizza, but it took longer than expected and by the time I got back they were hysterical and thought I had forgotten about them. The stories of my failures as a mom, accidental or not, could fill a book.

I did not have epic dreams of motherhood before I got married, and Christian and I backed into early parenthood without putting a lot of thought into it. Almost all of my married life and half of my life so far has been mothering. Now I am 17 years in, and my motherhood mistakes and failures have been a humbling experience. I do not pretend to know how to magically help every baby sleep through the night, although mine were mostly good sleepers. I don’t know the solution to every illness, although I have now seen just about every childhood health issue under the sun: strep throat, stomach bug, hand/foot/mouth, pneumonia, untold rashes, influenza, croup, ear infections, sinus infections, broken bones.3 I do not feed my children all organic food, and they probably get more screen time than they should. I’m not always emotionally present and available for them when they need me.

I could not have made it this far in motherhood without two Scriptures that have together formed a bulwark against mom guilt, against anxiety, against despair.

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. — Romans 8:1

The opportunity for implicit condemnation is everywhere: from the perfect mom-fluencers on TikTok or Instagram or the women you see at the park or the other parents in your kids’ school class or your own mom. Sometimes the condemnation is explicit. And even if you don’t experience that, our own hearts and brains condemn us.

But you know who doesn’t? Jesus. He sees every motherhood failure I have ever made, some of which I am not even aware of, and he does not condemn me. To be sure, I have had to apologize to my kids when I’ve sinned against them, and I’ve had to make changes in our family routines to better serve my kids, but that verse isn’t an excuse to be passive. It’s an encouragement to keep trying to love my kids and be a faithful mom because I am free from condemnation.

Behold, the Lord God comes with might,
and his arm rules for him;
behold, his reward is with him,
and his recompense before him.
He will tend his flock like a shepherd;
he will gather the lambs in his arms;
he will carry them in his bosom,
and gently lead those that are with young.

—Isaiah 40:10-11

I have texted this verse or a paraphrase of it to more moms than I can count. We see God as the king, as a warrior, coming to fight against evil and bring judgment and justice. And in the midst of that, he is gently caring for his people, including those that are with young. So many nights when I was nursing a baby or calming a fussy kid, I would cling to this verse that promised that the Lord saw me and that he would be gentle with me in some of the most difficult seasons of my life.

I am long past midnight nursing sessions, and my kids all sleep through the night in their own rooms, and some of them can even make their own meals. My role as a mom has changed and continues to evolve, but my kids still need a mom who doesn’t condemn herself, a mom who is free to live each day with the knowledge that she doesn’t have to be in control, a mom who is leading them while she is also being gently led by the Good Shepherd.

Time has a way of softening things, and I can laugh at the motherhood failures I’ve written about here. But guilt is pervasive and anxiety is a thief, and I know these two feelings all too well. If you are a mom, I hope that you will run to Jesus with all of your motherhood failures. He sees them, he knows all about them, and he can handle them.

May all the moms out there be as beloved as I am by my own kids, as evidenced in this beautiful portrait my oldest drew of me when he was six.

Here are 13 memoirs of individuals who were either born into or found themselves stuck in a high-control family or group. All of them managed to make their way out, some at the risk of their own lives. These stories are true, and if they were marketed as fiction, you’d probably throw them in the trash, because they wouldn’t be believable.

What’s the point in reading books like this? Well, if you’ve ever been in a high-control group, you will find affirmation that what you experienced was wrong, but that it made sense that you couldn’t see what was happening to you. If you’ve never been in that kind of environment, praise the Lord, but maybe reading these memoirs will give you compassion toward people you meet who have been.

High Control Groups—Not Religious

Nobody’s Girl: A Memoir of Surviving Abuse and Fighting for Justice by Virginia Roberts Giuffre

I’ve mentioned this book several times recently, and yet I will say again that this is one of the most disturbing books I have ever read. Giuffre’s childhood was horrific in her high-control family, and then she found herself caught in the clutches of uber-predators Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell. The bravery and courage she showed in seeking justice and writing this book are tremendous.

Dinner for Vampires: Life on a Cult TV Show by Bethany Joy Lenz

I never watched One Tree Hill and didn’t really know who Lenz was, but this was as funny as a book about accidentally finding yourself in a cult can be. Surprisingly as well, the author seems to have become a Christian once she escaped the cult. It’s always amazing to me when someone who comes out of a high-control family is willing to engage with the Bible, because I can understand how past trauma could close you off to anything that has ever been associated with high-control groups. This was one of the best nonfiction books I read last year.

Member of the Family: My Story of Charles Manson, Life Inside His Cult, and the Darkness that Ended the Sixties by Dianne Lake

This is a fascinating story about a woman who found herself in Charles Manson’s cult when she was only 16. She was not involved in the Patty Hearst murder, but she was very close to being part of it. I think the second half of the book about her life after she escaped was the most fascinating party, especially as she shares how she decided to explain to her children decades later what the earlier part of her life as like.

The Glass Castle: A Memoir by Jeannette Walls

This is a story about a girl born into a high-control family where she experienced abuse mostly in the form of neglect. These kinds of stories are heartbreaking, but I think they are important to read, because when you do you see that there were so many people who almost saw what the children were going through but didn’t have quite enough curiosity to ask more questions and get them help. It has helped me to develop a better sense of when I might want to ask questions when I suspect something might be wrong.

The House of My Mother: A Daughter’s Quest for Freedom by Shari Franke

This is not a book I recommend whole-heartedly, mostly because I don’t think the author had enough distance from her situation before she wrote it. Shari Franke is the daughter of Ruby Franke, the creator of the YouTube channel 8 Passengers, which has now been shut down. Ruby is in prison for aggravated child abuse against her own children, some of which was documented for all to see on her YouTube channel. Shari’s experience is terrible, and I don’t fault her for writing about it, but I think a little more distance would have served the book better.

Raised by a Serial Killer: Discovering the Truth About My Father by April Balascio

This book isn’t about a cult persay, but the author’s experience in her father’s home is definitely a high-control environment, because he is trying to escape being found out for the numerous people he kills over the years. My interest in this book is similar to these other cult memoirs because you see her wrestling with what the outside world is really like and trying to process her childhood experiences. That said, I believe the author self-published this book, and it could have used a good editor. I don’t recommend the audiobook, either, because the author’s cadence and pronunciation is distracting.

High Control Groups—Religious

This second section contains books by people who were in high-control groups with some kind of religious basis. Some were vaguely Christian, some were Mormon, and some essentially made up their own religion.

Hollywood Park by Mikel Jollett

This is one of my favorite memoirs of all time, cult-related or not. The audiobook version of this book includes some of the author’s original music, so it’s worth going that route if you have access to it. Mikel Jollett was born into the Synanon cult and was separated from his mom for many years with other children also born into the cult. He eventually escaped, but it took years for him to be able to reckon with his experiences. This is an honest look at what compels someone (in this case, his mom) to stay in a high-control group. What I love most about this book is the lengths to which the author was able to find a life where he could thrive.

Educated: A Memoir by Tara Westover

This is one of the most famous memoirs of the last decade, and for good reason. It was one of the first books I ever read from a person who grew up in a high-control family. This was also the first time I ever heard a reference to Ruby Ridge, when the author’s father claims the government’s actions there are justification for the lengths he goes to protect his own family from government interference. Westover grew up unsure of her birthday, without a social security card, and without access to consistent healthcare. It wasn’t until she went to college that she became, as the title says, “educated.” Once she learns more about the outside world, she has to figure out her relationship to her parents.

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I remember bustling around the kitchen in the first house we ever bought in Columbia, South Carolina, when our daughter was a baby. I had just discovered audiobooks and was venturing into the genre of narrative nonfiction. That day, I started listening to Say Nothing: A True Story of Murder and Memory in Northern Ireland by Patrick Radden Keefe, and while I did have to turn the speed down to 1.25x so as to be able to fully understand the Irish accent of the narrator, I was immersed.

I went on to read Keefe’s next two books, Empire of Pain: The Secret History of the Sackler Dynasty and Rogues: True Stories of Grifters, Killers, Rebels and Crooks, and whenever I think about his books, I find myself wondering when he will write another book. You can imagine my delight when I realized his newest book was published earlier this month. It only took a week or two for the audiobook to be available on Libby, and I dove right in. It was the best nonfiction book I read this month, and I’ll talk about it below, but it was just further confirmation to me that narrative nonfiction can be just as compelling as fiction, if not more. If you don’t think you like nonfiction, I hope you’ll give one of Keefe’s books a try.

Zooming out, I managed to read 16 books this month—only one shy of my goal—but it was by the skin of my teeth. I read 9 books in the first half of the month, and 7 in the second half of the month, but I finished four of them in the last two days of April due to some marathon reading sessions. When I realized I was going to be several books shy of my goal, I decided to press on and finish two books that I’ve been plodding through for months. I wasn’t enjoying reading them anyway, so I forced myself to finish them so I could be done with them.1 Both of them were on my Kindle and now I can be free to enjoy a new book on my Kindle.

The reading slowdown was entirely due to starting a new part-time job and went from working about 6 hours a week to 20 hours a week. My free time has decreased and so has my reading. Additionally, I was exhausted at the end of the day and could not bring myself to read at all before bed. I am going to have to be much more intentional about reading going forward. (Challenge accepted!)

For the last while I have been picking one book in each category—fiction, nonfiction, and spiritual—and choosing the best in each. Think of it as a mini Academy Awards of books every month.

📗 The Heaven and Earth Grocery Store by James McBride

When I posted about the books I was taking on a trip earlier this month, several people mentioned how much they loved this book, so that was the one I started with. I flew through it in 24 hours thanks to the complete lack of obligations and found myself almost weeping by the end. It is a beautiful, hilarious, tragic book with memorable characters and one of the things that makes a fiction book five stars for me: the characters are dynamic, not static, changing and growing through what they experience.

📗London Falling: A Mysterious Death in a Gilded City and a Family’s Search for Truth by Patrick Radden Keefe

I was surprised when this book started out with talking about only one family. His other books have explored circumstances on a more macro level, and I wasn’t sure where he was going. It starts with the death of a 19-year-old boy that no one can explain, and the path to the answer involves Russian oligarchs, the Ugandan South Asian community, and a grieving mother and father. I listened to it every chance I got; if I had been reading the print version I think I would have flown through it even faster.

📗Authority: How Godly Rule Protects the Vulnerable, Strengthens Communities, and Promotes Human Flourishing by Jonathan Leeman

The title of this book might not sound all that thrilling, but if you are someone who has experienced abuses of power in your church, workplace, or home, this book will be a breath of fresh air. I felt affirmed when I revisited painful experiences from my past and compared them to how the author describes just and righteous behavior in those contexts. This is a book that I think every Christian should read.

I only read four fiction books this month, and they were all very different. It was honestly a meh month for fiction—I tried many more than this and abandoned almost all of them (more on that below).

📗This Story Might Save Your Life by Tiffany Crum

New, somewhat popular books always make me nervous. I know I sound like a book snob, and maybe I am. I’m sorry. This book was a pleasant surprise. It’s about two friends, a man and a woman, who start a podcast together. Over the years, both of them get married, and the book is a back and forth from the present to the past. The book opens with the female podcast host and her husband going missing, and the rest of the book is the male host trying to sort out what happened. The audiobook had a male and female narrator for the respective chapters, and the chapters where their podcast was happening almost made me wish it was a real podcast!

📗Blockade Billy by Stephen King

This is a short book—a novella—that I also took on my out-of-town trip earlier this month. I’m trying to read through all of King’s works eventually, and this was waiting for me at the library right there on the shelf. It’s very short, but King still manages to pack a great deal of horror in a small number of pages. Despite not knowing or caring about baseball, I still managed to track with the baseball terminology.

📗The Plague Dogs by Richard Adams

I wanted to love this book so badly. I count Adams’ Watership Down among my top ten favorite books. A book about two dogs who escape from an animal research facility and are hunted because they are believed to be carrying the bubonic plague? It’s like it was written for me. Sadly, this book was difficult to read. There is a note at the beginning about the dialects that are used for some of the characters, and maybe if I were British it would have been easier to decipher, but there were whole paragraphs and pages I had to skim and guess at the meaning from context because they were unreadable to my Americanized brain. Additionally, there are so many references to places that had no meaning to me and thus only served to confuse me further. The seemingly hand-drawn maps were not helpful. There is also a good bit of commentary on British bureaucracy, which was not relatable. The book is meant to be a subtle polemic at climate change, industrialization, bureaucracy, and animal experimentation, and while I “got” the jokes, I struggled to keep wanting to pick this up. That said, the ending of the story was wonderful. I just wish we had gotten there a lot faster and with a lot more familiar words.

📗Devoted to God’s Church: Core Values for Christian Fellowship by Sinclair Ferguson

I only let myself pick one spiritual book as the best book of the month, and I was torn between this one and the one I chose. Dr. Ferguson is my favorite Christian author, my favorite pastor who isn’t my husband, and a man who has my greatest respect for his character, compassion, and integrity. This is a book every Christian should read. If you are involved in the local church, it will give you great encouragement. If you aren’t, it will challenge you without guilt, but by showing you how wonderful it is to be part of a local body of believers and how that is how God designed it from the beginning.

📗Life Without Lack: Living in the Fullness of Psalm 23 by Dallas Willard

I bought this book at McKay’s in Nashville a few weeks ago because I hear Dallas Willard quoted all the time but had never read anything he’d written. I found myself profoundly disappointed after finishing the book. While Willard had a lot of good things to say, I found that he treated his own speculations as fact; that he made claims about what God thinks and wants that were not based on Scripture; and that he failed to explain the gospel. As a result, I would not recommend this book to anyone. That said, a day or so after I finishing it, I ran across this article by Scot McKnight which helped me understand better where Dallas Willard fits into evangelical thought.

📗Eat, Drink & Be Merry: A Gospel Call to Pure Enjoyment by Ray Ortlund

My husband got several copies of this for our church’s free resource table, from which I grabbed a copy to read (I’ll now return it for someone else to read). He asked me what I thought and I told him Ortlund was just a little bit too happy and it got annoying. Being a bit of an Eeyore myself, I know I’m probably being too hard on the guy. It’s a good book, based out of Ecclesiastes, and the target audience is Gen Z-ers who are struggling with the meaning of life. My only other criticism is he quoted books written by two of his sons multiple times, and it started to feel like nepotism (or is it reverse nepotism?).

📗With Christ in the School of Prayer by Andrew Murray

I started this book waaaay back in February when I was preparing to teach at our women’s retreat at church. I was also reading numerous other books on prayer and didn’t finish this one. It is a solid book, but it would be best read one chapter a day consistently for a month. It took me three months to read 31 chapters and I jammed the last many into the last week just to finish it. It got pretty redundant by the end, but it was still an encouraging book.

In lieu of anything better, I have listed the nonfiction books I read this month in order of shortest subtitle to longest subtitle—because seriously, subtitles are getting out of hand.

📗Stay True: A Memoir by Hua Hsu

Kudos to Mr. Hsu for choosing an extremely short subtitle. I can’t remember how I ran across this book, but I love a memoir and the author’s background looked interesting. It is the story of him growing up in America as the son of immigrants and of a tragic situation that occurred when he was a young adult. While I certainly am not trying to judge his experience or his response to the tragedy, I wasn’t ever really excited to keep reading. It was fine.

📗The Innocent Man: Murder and Injustice in a Small Town by John Grisham

John Grisham is one of my favorite fiction authors, and I had no idea he wrote a nonfiction book two decades ago. This is the story of a great injustice, of a wrongful conviction that sent a man to death row for more than a decade. However, the middle of this book got really bogged down. I think Grisham the fiction writer was trying to include more intrigue in his nonfiction book when he’d have been better off cutting the length of the book down by about a third. That said, it was still a compelling story.

📗End of Days: Ruby Ridge, the Apocalypse, and the Unmaking of America by Chris Jennings

Chelsey, how many more books do you plan to read about Ruby Ridge? Well, this will probably be the last one. I think I pretty much have the timeline memorized at this point. While this book zoomed out and looked at greater cultural and religious trends in the 80s and 90s, I think the better book on the tragedy is still Jess Walter’s Ruby Ridge: The Truth and Tragedy of the Randy Weaver Family. In fact, Jennings quotes Walter’s book a good bit in this book.

📗The MAGA Diaries: Life Among the Fanatics, Extremists, and True Believers that Created the Modern Right by Tina Nguyen

This was an interesting book written by a woman who spent her formative years in far-right Republican circles. What I appreciated most about this book was that she treated both sides of the political aisle fairly. She did not disparage anyone; she simply stated the facts and described her experiences from her own point of view. If this aspect of American politics interests you, I’d recommend this one.

📗Killer in a White Coat: The True Story of New York’s Deadliest Pill Pusher and the Team that Brought Him to Justice by Charlotte Bismuth

I think this was my least favorite nonfiction book this month. The story that the book is purportedly about is fascinating—a doctor who used his weekends to sell prescription drugs to vulnerable people so he could pocket the money. But the book was a slog because the author interspersed details of her personal life what felt like every other chapter. There would be a chapter about investigating an aspect of the case, and then the next chapter would be about how her children were coping with the aftermath of her divorce. Perhaps she saw this book as a memoir, and in that case, the format makes more sense, but that is not how the book presents itself at the beginning, and I found myself more and more annoyed at her as the book went on.

Also, the book was originally published with the title Bad Medicine: Catching New York’s Deadliest Pill Pusher in 2021, but the audiobook, Kindle version, and paperback all have the newer title listed above, so keep that in mind depending on what version you want to read.

📗Starstruck: A Journalist’s Pursuit of a Fugitive Pop Star, Her Diabolical Maestro, and Their Teenage Sex Cult by Christopher McDougall

This almost became my top nonfiction book of the month. The word “cult” in the subtitle caught my eye. I had no idea who Gloria Trevi was until I read this book, and it was a horrifying read from start to finish. Gloria and her manager Sergio Astrade were basically the Ghislaine Maxwell and Jeffrey Epstein of Mexico in the 1990s, but possibly outdid Epstein and Maxwell in their cruelty and abuse. I am done reading about sexual abuse for a while.

This Substack is a place where those who abandon books can feel safe. Every month I end up DNF’ing at least a few books. This month felt like it had more than usual, probably because I abandoned the give audiobooks one after another before I settled on one I wanted to finish.

📙 Writers & Lovers by Lily King—I read Heart the Lover last month, and it was fine, but I heard this one was better. There was some sexual content in HTL but not enough to make me discard the book. This one had more than I wanted to read in the first 10% of the book.

📙Les Misérables by Victor Hugo—after making it only 4% through the book in 4 months, I have accepted the fact that this is not the season of my life when I will be able to dive into a classic. One day, when my kids don’t have to be driven everywhere and my brain is less scattered, I will try again.

📙 Separation of Church and Hate: A Sane Person’s Guide to Taking Back the Bible from Fundamentalists, Fascists, and Flock-Fleecing Frauds by John Fugelsang—Books about religion often appeal to me, and I’m not opposed to reading a book by someone who doesn’t have the same religious views at me. But I felt like this book was not going to give Christianity a fair representation. To be clear, I am opposed to Christian nationalism, spiritually abusive pastors, and anyone who claims the name of Christ while behaving in ways opposed to Scripture. If the topics of evangelicals in America in the current age is of interest to you, I’d recommend The Kingdom, the Power, and the Glory: American Evangelicals in an Age of Extremism by Tim Alberta.

📙Good Daughtering: The Work You’ve Always Done, the Credit You’ve Never Gotten, and How to Finally Feel Like Enough – An Essential Guide for Adult Daughters to Navigate Family Dynamics and Boundaries by Allison M. Alford2 —I barely even started this, because after thinking about it, I realized I don’t really need to read this book. I am an oldest daughter, but I have good relationships with my parents and my sisters and in-laws.

📙Discontent by Beatriz Serrano—The premise of this sounded interesting but there was too much sexual content in the first few chapters for me to want to continue.

📙Upward Bound by Woody Brown—This was my biggest disappointment of the month. I first heard about this book on Ron Charles’ Substack, and having spent many years of my life working with individuals with autism, including some who were nonverbal, I was fascinated by the premise. However, while I was waiting for it to come available through Libby, I learned about controversy surrounding how the book was written. You can read more about the controversy in this article in The Atlantic (I think you’ll have to make a free account to read it). I made it through a few chapters and just felt icky. Feel free to give it a shot, but I couldn’t finish.

You can see some of the books I purchased in my post about my visit to McKay’s. In addition to those 5 books, I also bought the following:

📘Nathan Coulter by Wendell Berry—Berry’s book about Nathan’s wife, Hannah, is one of my favorite books of all time. I am excited to read this one, the first of Berry’s novels about characters in Port William. I bought the print version so I can start building a shelf collection.

📘Rebecca by Daphne de Maurier—This was a deal on the Kindle one day and I’ve heard so many people talk about it, I decided to grab it.

These are the books I’m carrying with me from April into May. I hope to finish at least three of these before the end of next month.

📖 52 Weeks in the Word: A Companion for Reading Through the Bible in a Year by Trillia Newbell (using to stay accountable to Scripture reading)

📖 How to Read a Book: The Classic Guide to Intelligent Reading by Mortimer J. Adler and Charles Van Doren (personal development)

📖 On the Edge of the Dark Sea of Darkness (The Wingfeather Saga #1) by Andrew Peterson (reading out loud to my kids)—I said in March that we’d finish this in April if it was the last thing I did. Well, it was not the last thing I did. We still have about 10 chapters to go. But my kids are engrossed and asking to read it. The problem is that at least half of the nights of the week, my husband or I are not home to read to them, or the kids have been up late at church or something else and we don’t have time. The good news it, when we start the second book, we’ll be almost to summer and we’ll be able to read more consistently!

📖 This is Happiness by Niall Williams—I started this on our trip to Tennessee and didn’t get far. I have two plane trips in the next month and I’m hoping this can be my airplane read.

📖 Buckeye by Patrick Ryan—I’m a quarter of the way through this one and I am eager to see where it’s going. I heard it recommended by a lot of people and so far it falls into the category of “sweeping family saga” that I love so much.

📖 Traumatized Church: What Paul’s Relationship with the Corinthian Church Teaches Us About Helping Those Who are Hurting by Scot McKnight and Adrienne Gibson—This is another one I’m borrowing from my husband’s shelf at work. I’m eager to hear ’s take on this subject.

If you made it this far, congratulations! What did you read this month? Have you read any of the ones I’ve mentioned here? How many books about Ruby Ridge have you read?

As always, engaging with you in the comments or over email is one of my favorite parts about this Substack. I’d love to hear rom you!

I have more than 90 new subscribers since the end of last month, and many of you found me through my posts about books. I do post a monthly recap of what I read, but that’s its own post and will be coming Friday, May 1. “Dispatches from the Dopamine Den” is another post that I write monthly that serves as a curation of all the things I used to share on social media. (The title comes from the name of my favorite room in our house.) It includes life updates, interesting things I found online, what I’ve watched this month, and anything else I feel like sharing. If this isn’t of interest to you, maybe you’d enjoy checking out the 17 books I read last April.

While my work and aspects of my personal life require me to often be “extremely online,” there are so many days when I wish I could just throw the Internet in the trash. The rise of AI-generated videos and the way that many people seem to assume they are real makes me want to bang my head against a wall, and that’s without the constant influx of conflicting news reports on American politics and government. It’s easy to succumb to despair when it feels like the Internet is only offering up the very worst things.

But then, sometimes, the Internet brings something that you never would have seen without the Internet, and you are better for having seen it. This month, that was Ross Douthat’s interview with former Senator Ben Sasse, who is dying of cancer. He has already outlived the doctors’ predictions, but his time on earth is drawing short. There is no cure for what is killing him. And yet his interview with Douthat is one of the most encouraging interviews I’ve ever seen. If you want to ditch this post now and just go watch the interview, I won’t be offended.

If you want to read the transcript, it’s available here.

Life Updates

April was a jam-packed month as we approach the end of the school year. We had spring break, a trip for me and my husband, a birthday, a visit from my parents, Easter, and I started a new job. It has felt simultaneously like a very short month and a very long month.

Our spring break was relatively lowkey, and we did one of our favorite spring/fall activities (it’s way too hot in the summer). We traipsed around Oatland Island Wildlife Center for several hours. It’s essentially an outdoor trail with animal habitats at regular intervals. They have native birds, wolves, a fox, cougars, alligators, and more. It’s not nearly as exciting as a zoo but it’s all my little kids know and they love it. I was pleased my previously injured foot handled the 2+ miles of walking.

Easter came at the end of spring break, and it was a marathon. Christian and I attended the sunrise service, and then I ran home to shower and make myself presentable. I came back for music practice, and then we had church, so I was mostly at church from 7 am - 1 pm minus the 45 minutes I was at home showering. That afternoon we hosted some family and friends for a delicious meal. I was so happy my friend EJ got the picture above—our little kids are growing so fast.

The day after Easter, Christian and I embarked to Tennessee for a weeklong getaway sponsored by Teamness. Teamness is a ministry that provides free vacations to pastors and spouses. We applied back in the winter and got approved! We spent the week in a camper on the property of our host couple, Evan and Debbie. We slept, ate, watched TV, read, and did a bit of sightseeing. We got to know Evan and Debbie’s baby goats, and of course we stopped at Buc-ee’s on the way there and back.

I should also mention that the only way we were able to get away for those five days was to the gracious generosity of my mother-in-law and sister-in-law. They lived around the corner from us and are always willing to help. We are so grateful for them.

My youngest had a big week after we got back when he got to go on a field trip to a local ranch that cares for injured and abandoned animals. He also had a PTO presentation at his school, in which he played an adorable elephant. Six really is one of the best ages.

We celebrated two birthdays last weekend—our daughter, Zoe, who turned nine a few days before that, and our second son, Cohen, who turns fifteen in a few days. Friday night, my daughter invited 7 friends to a sleepover at our church building. My friend Kim joined me as another supervising adult and mercifully, we all survived, although I’m not sure how much sleep any of the girls got.

On Saturday, my parents came into town and my husband’s family joined us as we celebrated with a delicious ice cream cake made by my mother-in-law. These are the final two kid birthdays this year, and we now have a 16 year old, 15 year old, 9 year old, and 6 year old. We are firmly in the middle years of parenting!

My parents live about 3 hours away and blessed us with their presence the last weekend of April. They jumped right into an insane weekend of kid and church activities and just came along for the ride.

I had two big things happen this month: a long overdue haircut and a new job (please enjoy the before and after). My new job is part-time, but it’s many more hours than I had previously been working, so it’s been an adjustment to our family routines. (It’s also cutting into my Substack time—annoying!!!).

From the Garden

This is a segment that I came up with this month only so I could share with you some of the beautiful things my husband is cultivating in our yard. Enjoy!

What I Watched

This month was a pretty good month for TV, although with everything going on, Christian and I didn’t watch nearly as much as we usually do. Most of what I watched was in the background on my own while I was doing other things.

🎥 Ghislaine Maxwell: Filthy Rich (Netflix)—After finishing this, I’ve had enough of anything adjacent to Jeffrey Epstein to last a lifetime. Of all the characters in the Epstein situation, I’ll be honest: Maxwell is the absolute creepiest.

📺The Wire—Seasons 1, 2, & 3 (HBO Max)—Christian and I decided to try to tackle all five seasons of this show and we’re about halfway through. One funny thing is that for the last 20 years, I thought this show was about a journalism newsroom (the wire, get it?). Turns out it’s about crime in Baltimore. Also, it’s hilarious to see the detectives and criminals getting cell phones and beginning to use dial-up Internet. It would feel like satire if it hadn’t actually been filmed in the early 2000s.

🎥 Paddington 2 (HBO Max)—I’ve still never seen the first Paddington movie, but I heard this was the best one. One night I got to pick what we watched as a family, and this was my choice. I loved Hugh Grant, who makes a great villain, and I loved the absurdity of Paddington’s prison experience. I also got teary at the ends. 5/5.

📺The Pitt—Season 2 (HBO Max)—We finished up the second season and loved it all. Sure, I could nitpick about some things here and there, but it truly is a remarkable show that portrays people working under incredible pressure and having to make really hard decisions. The Baby Jane Doe storyline was almost more than I could handle.

📺The Simpsons—Season 1 (Disney+)—Growing up, I wasn’t allowed to watch the Simpsons, and even when I was an adult, I thought it was dumb and wasn’t interested. My husband, however, grew up watching reruns and considers it one of his favorite shows. To appease him, I have started working through the first nine seasons. I’ll be honest—it’s funnier than I expected it to be.

📺Trust Me: The False Prophet (Netflix)—This was the most fascinating and compelling thing I watched this month. A woman and her husband move into the town were an FLDS prophet who is following in the steps of Warren Jeffs has formed his own mini cult of women and underage girls. She earns their trust and eventually becomes an FBI informant who helps bring the leader to justice. I flew through this because it was so intense.

ICYMI

Here are all the posts from this month in case you missed any of them!

📝 The Danger of Marriage

📝 15 Longish Nonfiction Books to Get Lost in but Still Finish (400-600 pages)

📝 15 Longish Fiction Books to Get Lost in But Still Finish (400-600 pages)

📝 The 5 Books I Bought at McKay’s Used Bookstore in Nashville (all for less than $17!)

📝 12 of my Most Read Fiction Writers

📝 3 Books that Took Me One Day Each to Read

📝 The 5 Fiction Books I’m Taking on My Trip Next Week (and What Made Me Pick Them)

From the Archives

This post will be entering the archives in May, so take a look at my opinion on legless reptiles while you have time.

In Closing

This month, I finished a cross-stitch piece that I had been working on for more than 3 years—over 26,000 individual stitches. It felt so good to finish it, and completing it reminded me that slow and steady progress can actually make something substantial over time. I haven’t decided what to do with it yet, but sometimes I just pull it out and look at it.

I hope the end of this month finds you well. As always, I remain so grateful for those of you who read my humble Substack offerings. I love being able to share the things I love with you.

Long-time readers will know of my deep love for nonfiction books. I truly could not say whether I prefer fiction or nonfiction—it just depends on my mood. Back in January I wrote a post called 25 Books Worth Reading that are 600 Pages or Longer, which turned out to be the most popular post I’ve ever published. It turned out lots of people love long books! That list contained both nonfiction and fiction, so a few weeks ago I made a list of 15 fiction books that were slightly shorter than those—all of them within 400-600 pages. And now, to complete the set, I’m sharing 15 fascinating nonfiction books between 400 and 600 pages long. We’ve got shipwrecks, wars, crime, and Star Wars—what more could you want?

The Demon of Unrest: A Saga of Hubris, Heartbreak, and Heroism at the Dawn of the Civil War by Erik Larson

Erik Larson is one of my favorite nonfiction writers, but when this book came out, I wasn’t very excited. First of all, the Civil War is not one of my favorite time periods to read about. Also, it appeared as if the book only covered a few days of time, and I couldn’t imagine it would be all that interesting. Of course, I was wrong, because it’s Erik Larson, and it turned out to be a riveting story of how the war started. What was most interesting to me was that lack of communication was the reason behind most of what happened. If you’ve already read this one, my favorite Larson book is Dead Wake: The Last Crossing of the Lusitania.

Facing the Mountain: A True Story of Japanese American Heroes in World War II by Daniel James Brown

This was one of the first books I ever read about Japanese internment during World War II. I realized after finishing it that most of what I had known about it prior to the book had come from the winners—in other words, I had only read about it from a strictly Allied point of view. Without all the facts, it seemed somewhat reasonable to me that the Americans were afraid of anyone of Japanese descent after Pearl Harbor. This book soundly crushed that perspective as it followed several different second-generation Japanese immigrants and their experience during World War II. This book is just one example of why I love reading—I learn new things and my thinking about various situations gets turned on its head.

The Complete Titanic Chronicles: A Night to Remember and The Night Lives On by Walter Lord

This is technically two books in one, so it’s a little bit cheating to include it, but you won’t want to stop after the first one, so plan to read them both. Who isn’t fascinated by the Titanic? The movie came out when I was in high school and I think the most famous shipwreck in history has a bit of a chokehold on millenials. This book was written not long after the shipwreck, so the book itself is a snapshot of history as well as a thorough description and analysis of the event.

Caste: The Origins of Our Discontents by Isabel Wilkerson

When you hear the word caste, you might think of the social hierarchy in India, but the author of this book presents a compelling argument as to how a caste system also exists in the United States. This is a book that may cause you to reconsider your opinions and perspectives when it comes to race, poverty, and crime, so read at your own risk (but seriously, read it!).

And, of course, if you haven’t already read it, I can’t commend highly enough her other book, The Warmth of Other Suns: The Epic Story of America’s Great Migration.

Rikers: An Oral History by Graham Rayman

Oral histories are nothing new, but being able to listen to them in audiobook format is. I grew to love oral histories through the books of Garrett M. Graff, and so this one caught my eye. This is a heartbreaking look at the criminal justice system. It also continually made me think of all the time Rikers is a setting on Law and Order: SVU, a show of which I watched the first 10-12 seasons (basically until Stabler left—not interested after that).

The Run of His Life: The People v. O.J. Simpson by Jeffrey Toobin

This was the first Jeffrey Toobin book I read, and I became a fan almost instantly. I’ve read three out of four of his most recent published books (his newest, The Pardon: The Politics of Presidential Mercy, is on my TBR). He wrote this book in 1996, not long after the trial, but it is a detailed account of the crime, the aftermath, and the trial. The miniseries The People vs. O.J. Simpson: American Crime Story is based on Toobin’s book and you probably won’t be surprised to learn I watched it almost immediately upon finishing the book.

Memoirs and biographies are often grouped into the same genre, but they aren’t exactly the same. What’s the difference? Well, a memoir is written by the person in question about a period of his or her life, usually with a good deal self-reflection. This period could be a large swath of the author’s life but is not their entire life—otherwise it would be an autobiography. A biography is not written by the book’s subject and covers most, if not all, of his or her life.

Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, HER Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed by Lori Gottlieb

I started going to counseling regularly when I was 29 years old, and it has been one of the primary reasons, secondary to the grace of God, that I have not gone absolutely insane. This book is a fascinating look behind the scenes at what it’s like to be a therapist.

Shoe Dog: A Memoir by the Creator of Nike by Phil Knight

I don’t care much about shoes or sports or brands, but this book was still interesting to me. The creator of Nike writes about the first 18 years of the business, which he started in 1962 when he was 24 years old.

All Creatures Great and Small by James Herriot

I read this book as a young adult, but I recently gave it a re-read. It is a charming and hilarious yet serious account of a young and inexperienced veterinarian trying to gain his footing in the English countryside in the late 1930s. It’s purportedly about animals, but it’s really about people and their relationships.

George Lucas: A Life by Brian Jay Jones

Growing up, I lived a sheltered life when it came to media. I watched Disney movies and PBS in elementary school, with one exception—Star Wars. My dad was 15 when the first movie came out, and while he never had any sons to pass his love on to, he found a welcome receptacle in his oldest daughter. I think this book would be interesting even if you aren’t a Star Wars fan, because George Lucas did a lot of other stuff as well.1

The Good Neighbor: The Life and Work of Fred Rogers by Maxwell King

Mister Rogers’ neighborhood was a huge part of my childhood, as I think it was for many people in my age group. I loved reading about his life.

The Escape Artist: The Man Who Broke Out of Auschwitz to Warn the World by Jonathan Freedland

My passion for Holocaust history led me to this book, which is a terrifying and sobering account of a Jewish man who actually managed to escape from Auschwitz. I had never even heard this story mentioned until I read this book, which was surprising given how many books I have read on the subject.

Say Nothing: A True Story of Murder and Memory in Northern Ireland by Patrick Radden Keefe

I’m not going to say much about Keefe’s books because I’m planning to write more about him in my April reading recap, but he is an incredible writer and this book educated me on a period of time I knew nothing about.

The Body: A Guide for Occupants by Bill Bryson

If you’ve never read anything by Bryson, this is a great place to start. He weaves anecdotes and stories with scientific facts to produce an incredible look at the human body.

The Woman They Could Not Silence: One Woman, Her Incredible Fight for Freedom, and the Men Who Tried to Make Her Disappear by Kate Moore

This book made me really grateful that 1) my husband is not a monster and 2) I didn’t live in the 1860s. Did you know that husbands could still technically commit their wives to psychiatric hospitals until the 1980s? This book is a story about a woman who would not back done and who fought tenaciously for the right to be in control of her own life and body.

I’d love to know if you’ve read any of these, or if you have any long-ish nonfiction books you’d recommend to me!